Cupcakes To Carrot Sticks

i am still alive!

2011-11-20T20:24:00.000-06:00

Hello to all of my blog readers and followers!! I just wanted to let you all know that I am still here and still alive. I am however not working on weight loss right now. Well I am but nothing like I was before. I am just trying to keep things nice and even and getting ready to start an IVF cycle the middle of December thru the middle of January! I am beyond nervous but I am excited all at the same time. I am still up from my lowest weight but I am okay with that for right now and will work on losing weight again after my IVF cycle is done in January. I won't do another IVF cycle again until April and even then I won't be pregnant as I won't have a transfer until May. If that is greek to you, sorry, it just means I won't have a chance of getting pregnant until May :)

This infertility journey has been oh so hard and I hope we get a baby at the end of it all. Just last week they found scar tissue in my uterus that I will have surgery to remove in Feb. or March of next year. I honestly can't tell you how nerve wracking and scary this whole process is. We will get through it though and I am so glad I have an awesome group of friends, family and a husband that support me!

Anyway, I hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving with your families, indulge just a little, and most importantly be thankful for family, friends, and our health.

If any of you are interested in following me on my IVF journey I have a private blog that you can visit, just email me for the password! michaela@cupcakestocarrotsticks.com

http://sayleramipregnantyet.wordpress.com/

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!!

if they can do it so can you

2011-10-18T19:27:00.000-05:00

After reading about the 100 year old man completing a marathon and then seeing this video below, I realized that the only thing stopping people from succeeding is themselves. Just do it already.

pinterest inspiration

2011-09-22T12:03:00.000-05:00

I seriously can't get enough of Pinterest right now! Do you know how many amazing pins there are out there these days that just motivate the crap out of me?! If not you should totally check it out! I could care less about having followers but if you want to find some inspiration or some awesome Paleo recipes, click on the Pinterest logo in the right sidebar under the advertising! The recipes look amazing and the bodies are sick!!

I have been back on track for 4 days now and man does it feel good to be back and in control! I am still struggling with the extreme desire to eat carbs but I am getting through each day. I am feeling less and less bloated and overall I am getting my confidence back. I felt so low for awhile there and just flat out didn't care about myself. I have no idea why I went through that slump but it is what it is and I move on.

I have a long way to go to get back to where I was at my lowest weight but hey every good day is one step closer to getting there.

And just to leave you with a little inspiration for the day...

I relapsed

2011-09-18T17:35:00.000-05:00

Yes I am calling it a relapse just like a drug addict relapses. Carbs and sugar are my drug of choice and it hasn't been fun. I have found myself in this constant battle that I haven't been able to overcome. I do really well one day and then the next not so much. It has been a huge eye opener for me and I am ready to move on. At least today I am.

Some interesting things to note about what I have observed while eating carbs and sugar for oh who knows how long...(I am making this post as something I can go back to and read over and over and over again when I want to eat carbs or sugar.)

My face is disgustingly greasy
the hairline acne is back
I have to use deodorant again after not using it for months (I promise I don't stink when I don't use it)
i feel irritated way more often than not
my skin feels dry
I don't feel as pretty as I did when I was eating primal foods
seriously the farting is out of control
bloated to high heaven
retaining water
headaches
loss of self control
sex drive has plummeted

So with all of those things you would think it would be easy to turn something down and move on right? I mean I know what it is like to feel good why did I allow myself to relapse? That is my million dollar question and believe me I am kicking myself for even getting into this again. I truly feel like a drug addict and headed back to rehab. Effing carbs and sugar, I HATE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am learning that I am not perfect but the drive to be better is back! I want Michaela back!

i'm still here

2011-09-15T20:43:00.000-05:00

I am dealing with lots of stuff regarding our IVF cycle but I am still here. I will probably start blogging again when I am back in the 170's. I hope to start writing again soon!

run, forrest, run!!

2011-08-25T12:53:00.000-05:00

Run, Forrest, Run!

Forrest Gump

— MOVIECLIPS.com

Someone lit a fire under my ass yesterday after a comment they made and it pissed me off so much that I decided once and for all get this weight off the old fashioned way...Diet and exercise.

I can't wait to prove to this person that you can do something if you quit with the excuses and actually do something about your weight. I am tossing the HCG to the side and for once in my life I am going to accomplish something the hard way. No easy way out, I want to set out to do something I have never done before and just do it.

That something is becoming a runner. For as long as I have had this blog and for as long as I can remember really, I have always wanted to be a runner. I want to say things like, I am going out for a run will be back in awhile or I ran 5 miles today and it felt great! Every time I see someone running they look so relaxed and they carry themselves as though they are accomplishing something that they set out to do. They look like they are relieving stress from a bad day or thinking about what they will do tomorrow. Maybe they are just listening to their feet hit the pavement, whatever they are doing or thinking about doesn't matter, they are setting out to do what they said they would and I want to do the same thing.

I ran/walked 2.29 miles in 30 minutes yesterday. Not bad for a first day and I can't wait to do it again today. I blared the music and ran for as long as I could then walked to catch my breath and repeated it for 30 minutes. It felt AMAZING!! I did have to laugh though because the last song I picked to run to ended up being a freaking remix and lasted forever! LOL! I was like holy shit when is it going to be over?!!! It felt good, I accomplished what I set out to do that day and I am proud of myself. That and I lost 2 pounds. Woot!

unexpected inspiration

2011-08-10T21:17:00.000-05:00

I am seriously in love with the show So You Think You Can Dance and I couldn't wait for tonight finale show! While watching these girls and boys twist themselves into some of the most amazing positions, throw their bodies around as if they always float on air, and be absolutely mesmorized at their physical strength, there was one line in the show that I still can't get out of my head.

"If you have a reason to live, you don't have a reason to quit."

~Marko

Wow. It literally took my breath away just thinking about what that means in my life right now in this moment. Everyone has a reason to live and I can't think of a single reason to give up on anything in life. I have absolutely no reason in the world not to push as hard as I can to lose this weight and get to a goal that I have always dreamed about. I have no reason why I can't stop thinking about carbs and how freaking good donuts taste. LOL! Yet I can think of a thousand reasons why I should keep going and doing what I set out to do many years ago.

Weight loss has been the second biggest struggle of my life behind infertility. I can't do anything about my blocked tubes so that is something I can't sit and cry about but I can do something about my weight and it is solely up to me whether I succeed or not...I don't have a reason to quit.

michaela + eggs = bff

2011-08-09T13:41:00.001-05:00

The first week back on the HCG diet has been WONDERFUL!! I can't believe the difference from a few weeks ago! I randomly upped my dose because I calculated wrong and went to 150IU instead of 125IU and bam no hunger really at all. I am in heaven!

I am also in heaven because I am not doing the original HCG diet, I am doing my own variation and I can't tell you enough about my love for eggs. It is seriously ridiculous. Eggs over easy, over hard, over medium, hard boiled, soft boiled, over lettuce salad, egg salad, eggs mixed with spinach, broccoli, tomatoes, avocado, and on and on and on. I eat 3 of them every single day for lunch and every morning I wake up excited because I know I will get to eat eggs for lunch. How sad is that?! LOL!

Whatever it is, it is working because I have lost 7 pounds in the first week and managed to actually lose a pound while loading instead of gaining 6-7 pounds like I normally do! I am thrilled! Of course I still have more to lose before I am back down to 176.6 but hey, I am headed in the right direction and it feels good!

I have been experimenting a little with my food to see what makes me feel good and what doesn't. One day last week Kyle and I went to one of the big cities to drop the dogs off at Petsmart for a bath and to do a little shopping. We stopped at Target and I decided to get some Fage Greek yogurt and roasted almonds. One of my all time favorite snacks. Unfortunately it made me feel bloated as all hell! HUH?! Why in the world haven't I paid attention to this before? I guess there is a reason why die hard Paleo people don't eat dairy because we are the only beings on earth that drink milk after we are babies. I couldn't believe that I never really noticed this before but it was definitely noticeable last week.

So that means no dairy for me because it obviously causes inflammation in the body and with my IVF blood work coming up in December I can't be having anymore inflammation in my body than there already is. I have to do everything possible to get my body ready to hopefully have a baby and I want to stay healthy once getting pregnant. Gestational Diabetes scares the living crap out of me so it will be important to stay away from the grains, sugar, and dairy as much as possible! I have already warned Kyle to refuse any random trips to the grocery store for crap food that I don't need. LOL!

Last week was a good week and I am mentally back in the game. Not sure what my funk was all about but hey, it happens and the great thing about life is that there is always a new day.

ETA: I am laughing so hard at the what the font changes my blog title too! That is supposed to say michaela + eggs = bff. Hmmm I think I will leave it like it is :)

admitting failure

2011-08-02T14:45:00.000-05:00

Just when you think all is well in weight loss land I look back and realize that I have pretty much wasted 5 months of my time and gained back the weight I lost in June. Fun times.

I have no idea what was wrong with me or maybe I should say what is wrong with me but it is what it is.

The days of eating donuts and cupcakes are over for me and I have decided once again to go back on the HCG. I seriously can't stand back and forth decisions about dieting/weight loss so I am annoyed at myself for even doing this. I just want to yell at myself to pick a plan and stick with it already. I mean how hard can that be? Where is my self control?

I know it isn't good to beat yourself up but dude, I deserve a total beating at this point. It will only last through today and then I will be over it and ready to be Positive Polly. I have asked a group of friends that I am on Facebook with to help me out and give me tough love when I need it. Nobody needs to be coddled in the weight loss world especially when I have come this far.

It is time to pull my head out of my ass and freaking do this already! I am running out of time before I do IVF and I need to get moving. Nothing is worse than a bunch of excuses so I don't plan on giving any, I plan on going back to what I know and being the strong person I am because...

Just change the word YEAR to MONTH and yup I will be asking myself this same exact question if I don't just do it.

I am not thrilled to be back on the HCG diet but I know it works and even if it is slower weight loss than what I have had in the past it is a helluva lot better than gaining or not losing at all.

As my Dad would say,
Quit dinkin' around Mick!
.

my first acupuncture session

2011-07-28T10:57:00.000-05:00

My mom decided she would gift me a bunch of sessions with an acupuncturist to hopefully help with IVF and overall health. I wasn't sure what I thought about doing acupuncture because there have been studies show it helps and studies to show it doesn't help. My feeling on it all would be that if I had the extra cash I would for sure do something like this but if I didn't then I wasn't going to worry about trying.

Entire my wonderful mother who said she would pay for it and I took her up on the offer. Yesterday was my first session and it was super interesting! She talked to me for about 30 minutes about my overall health history and my concerns which brought up a concern of mine. She hasn't had a fertility patient since she has been in school. I was recommended to her by a friend of my parents and I just figured she had seen fertility patients before but I was wrong. I went ahead with the appointment just because I wanted to experience it.

After looking at my tongue she had me lay down on the table, told me to relax as much as possible and then told me about the needles and what she would be doing. Before we got into it all I asked her why she looked at my tongue and she said that it tells us everything about our organs. HUH?! She said I have a swollen tongue and asked if I was a thinker. Um yes, my mind is always running no matter the subject is. I literally have zero stress in my life but that doesn't mean my mind just stops working. Of course I think! Well she said that I think more than the average person. LOL! Good to know!

She also said something about my Spleen Qi and my dampness. Again, HUH?! My dampness? I guess I should have paid more attention when I read the book The Infertility Cure by Randine Lewis! LOL! I read that book about 3 or 4 years ago and nothing really made sense to me but I got it off the bookshelf today and I can't wait to read about my dampness and figure out what in the world that means.

After she stuck with me with needles in my head, ears, face, hands, arms, legs, and feet, she proceeded to light what looked like a giant crayon. No idea what that was but it stunk. I am not big on incense in the first place so this was a bit much. She took the crayon down by my feet and was trying to warm them up. Oh yeah I forgot to mention that during the questions she asked me if my feet and hands were ever cold and I said well sometimes they are but most of the time they are cold when they should be cold, i.e. the winter. Well she felt my feet and was shocked at how cold they were so I guess that required some warming up with the crayon.

She was down there for about 20 minutes and I laid there with my eyes closed to make it look like I was relaxing but I couldn't quite get there. I will say that it was beyond relaxing after she stuck the needles but since it was my first time I couldn't fully relax and enjoy the moment like she wanted me too. The crayon thing was super hot at times and there was one time where she got a little too close but I liked it.

After she was done with my feet she gave me a pressure point massage on my head and shoulders to help with my migraines. Now that was my favorite part! I generally hate being massaged because it hurts but this was different. It was like light touching with random pressure which felt great!

She pulled all of the needles out slowly and then talked to me about what I should do each night to help me with my issues. She wanted me to do the pressure point massage, meditate to get my brain to stop thinking, and to soak my feet in a super hot tub of water each night before I go to bed. Um it is 100° plus out right now, not sticking my feet in anything hot. LOL! She then said she was going to put seeds in my ears. Again, HUH?! Seeds in my ears? WTF?! She shows me these little black seeds stuck to tape and puts them on the top part of my ear and told me to press on them if I feel stressed or my mind is thinking too much. Okay at this point it is getting to be a little weird for me but I roll with it. It is good to experience something new right?! Well this morning the seeds came out of my ears, it hurt to talk on the phone with them in. ROFL!

All in all I enjoyed the experience and I am looking forward to seeing the Acupuncturist that deals with fertility next. I won't go to them for another few weeks because they are a little bit pricier and I don't want to make my mom pay for a TON of sessions. I also liked that she concentrated on stuff that has to do with weight loss as well as cravings. I just wish she knew more about fertility since that is the whole purpose of going.

So there was one thing I didn't enjoy and that was walking out of there smelling like I had just smoked a ton of pot or swam in a pool of incense. So gross. :)

no news news is...

2011-07-26T08:40:00.000-05:00

You know the saying no new news is good news? Yeah not in this case. I don't have any good news to report and well I hate writing about bad news so I am just not going to write at all. LOL!

See you when I am back to normal and have pulled my head out of my ass. It is so far up there that it may take awhile.

before and almost after pics

2011-07-14T15:30:00.001-05:00

Yesterday I chopped my hair off and I freaking love it! I bet I cut at least 9" off the back! I was inspired earlier this year when Jen Aniston stepped out with her new do and I immediately wanted to cut my hair. There was only one thing holding me back, I seriously thought it would make my face look fat. The last time I had my hair short I was about 280 pounds and even though I thought I looked at the time, what a horrible choice and why did the stylist not tell me it would add 40 pounds of face fat that I didn't need! I talked to my besties and made me feel much better about my decision so I went for it and this is what a 100 pound weight difference will make...

the middle picture is what my hair looked like before I cut it off!

Crazy huh?!! Sometimes I forget how far I have come because it has been a slow process but seeing pictures like this (yes I have a love of self portrait webcam pics when I am bored out of my mind) it makes me feel about a 1000x more confident.

I also was flipping through old photos of me and that is when I noticed a big difference again!!

The last few days I have needed some major motivation. I think I found it.

60 days of dedication

2011-07-12T11:00:00.001-05:00

I feel like I am in a funk lately and I majorly need to get out of it before I completely slip back into my old ways and get all fat again. Now that would be depressing wouldn't it? I won't let that happen though and there are a few things I am going to push myself to do in order to regain control and feel good about all of this again.

The first thing I have already started to do is exercise BUT I have slacked off for 3 days in a row and it is time to nip it in the bud before it gets further away from me. I don't know if it was the 109°/80% humidity weather we have been having or if I am just flat out lazy but it is what is and those 3 days are lost. Not only did I not exercise on those days but I literally had sugar cravings so bad that I finally decided to just say eff it and eat. Not good for the diet but it helped me clear my brain and I am now suffering through the cravings. Okay so it wasn't good for the brain either but today I am back on the treadmill for my hour long walk and the 20 minutes of strength training.

My biggest goal is to do 60 days of clean eating and exercise. I have already dedicated myself to a diet for 35ish days when I was on HCG so I am going to really push the limits and do the Whole30 Challenge not just for 30 days but for 60 days. This will hold me accountable for a lot longer than I have ever held myself accountable for anything and I am determined to do it. Yesterday was so freaking hard because I seriously wanted one last day to eat more sugar. Just one, okay maybe two donuts and I would be good to start the next day. Huh? What kind of crazy logic is that Michaela? You already had one bad day of eating and now I want another one? Yeah so not going to happen and I powered through yesterday like a champ. Of course there were 80 trips to the refrigerator and pantry only to walk out or close the fridge door and tell myself no. LOL! I probably looked insane pacing back and forth in the kitchen telling myself no!

To keep me on track I bought a huge calendar and hung it up in the workout room. I will record my weight and my workouts and then cross off the days as they go by. I think the visual will really help to keep me focused and realize that I have either pissed away a lot of time not doing anything or I will be excited to see my accomplishments. I hope it is the latter, actually I know it will be.

I have also been enjoying eating some yummy food! I love love loved homemade mayo, the tangier and more olive oil-y it tastes the better. I chopped up some spinach, halved grape tomatoes, had Kyle grill me some chicken breasts, and then topped it off with a 1/4 of an avocado. It was a delicious dinner!

For breakfast yesterday I did my usual 3 eggs but added in broccoli, spinach and halved grape tomatoes. Man was it fantastic and very easy to make even though the cell phone picture makes it look awful!

So I am back into the swing of things *I hope* and excited to see how far I can push myself in the next 30 and 60 days. A good friend of mine is getting married on Day 63 so I have a pretty good incentive to lose as many inches and as much weight as I can. I haven't seen her in 6 years and I am sure she will be shocked!

much needed space

2011-07-10T15:41:00.001-05:00

Remember this post where I realized the giant space between my thighs? Yeah well I discovered a new space which is the space between my thigh and the console of my car! LOL! Seriously I can finally see the seat when I sit down!

I am seriously loving my new "space" even though I was the one previously occupying the space. :):)

*Ignore the fact that I seem to be wearing the same shorts as in the space between my thighs pic. I swear I own more than one pair of shorts.

food fun

2011-07-09T15:22:00.000-05:00

I have been trying really hard to make new things and experiment in the kitchen. It has been interesting and fun all at the same time. A few things I have come to realize is that cooking is a pain in the ass when you have no idea what you are doing...Food tastes much better when someone else cooks it for you...Some recipes are flat out terrible and I should have known when some of the ingredients were questionable in my mind...Making a complete meal with meat and veggies is a lot harder than I thought it would be...There are a million ways to eat eggs and I freaking love them.

My first experiment was a play on Prosciutto Egg Cups. I normally have 3 eggs for breakfast and instead of using a ton of expensive Prosciutto to make 3 different cups, I made a Prosciutto boat. LOL!
Lay the Prosciutto in one of those ceramic baking dishes so that it covers the bottom and the sides.

Add 3 eggs, then salt and pepper to taste. Easy peasy and that is why I love it!

And voila its done about 30-40 minutes later at 400° in the oven. Okay it took forever to freaking cook and I was beyond anxious waiting for it to be done but it was soooo good! I wish the yolks would have been a little more runny but I am absolutely clueless on how to get the whites to cook all the way through yet have the yolks runny. Not sure if it is even possible but I will try and do a few more experiments to see if I can do it.

The other thing I tried to make was Vanilla Coconut Milk Ice Cream! I know Truvia isn't the greatest thing on the earth but I was really craving something sweet and this was my answer. Most recipes don't have the Truvia in it but when I tasted the custard it wasn't that sweet and in the end I screwed up and added too much Truvia. It was good enough to eat but the next batch I make will not have any in it. I topped it off with some blueberries and it made for a delicious dessert!

And damn you Costco produce department for being next to the bakery! I swear my sweet tooth lately has almost been unbearable but I thought a nice fruit salad would do the trick. Well of course you can only buy 80 pounds of fruit at Costco and this was the end result (minus the nectarines I added after the picture was taken). I am not supposed to have that much fruit but again it is better than eating sugar free chocolate and it tastes soooo good! I have watermelon, blueberries, grapes, raspberries, black berries, strawberries, pineapple, and nectarines in these giant bowls of goodness. Since I made fruit salad for what seems like 100 people, I am going to send some of it with my husband when he goes to work Monday night.

All in all it has been pretty fun making new things as it gives me something to look forward to throughout the day. If I could only get my husband on the same schedule and diet as me then I would be in heaven. He is the cook in the house and I could just sit back and enjoy the goodness but until then it is up to me.

What are some of your favorite meals? I don't care if they are Paleo or not, I can always figure out a way to modify them! Oh and if you could give me ideas for side dishes/veggies I will love you forever!

i walked

2011-07-07T09:07:00.000-05:00

Yeah yeah yeah, I have been MIA for awhile and I honestly was up to no good. I am moving on though and I am happy to say I started my exercise program yesterday!

I walked 3.47 miles and did 20 minutes of strength training on my arms. I wasn't sure how I was going to start out with the walk so I decided to set the treadmill at 2.5mph for 5 minutes, then 3.0 for another 5 minutes and then finally stopped at 3.5mph. About 30 minutes in (I am guessing I cover the time with a towel) I bumped it up to 3.7mph and finished out the 60 minutes of walking.

I will admit that I could have done more, I could have walked faster but it was a start and today I plan on pushing myself that much harder. I need to get in shape and the harder I push myself the faster I will get there and the better I will feel.

I was pretty hungry about 30 minutes after the workout but since I walked after I ate breakfast, I was able to eat lunch and curb most of that hunger. I do wish I was done losing weight because it would be so much easier to workout when I am able to eat more food to maintain my weight than it is to exercise on 1400-1500 calories. It will take a lot of discipline but at this point that is what I need and I am excited about the challenge.

My challenge is to get up to 4 miles in one hour by the end of the first 2 weeks. Once I master the 4mph, then I am thinking about starting the Couch to 5k Program in addition to the 1 hour of walking that I will do each day. I don't get much exercise on my own without scheduling it so I need to get in my 10,000 steps as well as a good workout and I think this is a good solution. Another way to add in some steps is taking my dogs for walks during the day instead of playing with them in the backyard. It will get them out and walking and it will be awesome for all of us!

skinny fat

2011-06-27T10:17:00.000-05:00

Once again I have decided to switch things up as far as weight loss and diet goes. Today I woke up to a .6 gain and I am just over this stupid roller coaster that I am on with regards to my diet and I need to switch it up before I go overboard and gain a bunch of weight. When I get frustrated I end up going backwards and I want to stop myself before I actually do it.

There is one thing that I has been bothering me ever since I started to get closer to my goal weight and that is being skinny fat (great post on MDA). You know the type of body where you are pretty skinny all over yet you still have a high/higher percentage of body fat? Yeah that is what I really don't want and honestly losing 120 pounds without having to workout is probably good enough. I now need to become stronger and improve in the cardio area. I am just tired of being jiggly all over.

In a way I feel ultra bipolar at the moment with all of these changes and I just hope this isn't a way for me to try and get out of trying to do a hard diet again but I honestly don't think I can handle another very low calorie diet for one more day. It really is important for me to improve my strength and cardio so I think this will be a great plan to get the last 35 or so pounds off.

I will eat around 1400-1700 calories and that is based on my BMR or resting metabolic rate of 1585 calories. One pound is equal to 3500 calories so in order for me to lose 2 pounds a week I need to have a 1000 calorie deficit. If I figure that my daily caloric needs are around 1745-1900 so by dropping my daily intake down to 1500 and exercising the rest of the 1000 calories I should be on track to lose weight and get healthier. Of course I may have to adjust this depending on what happens but hopefully it won't be too hard to figure out. Thank goodness I have my GoWearFit to help me see how many calories I am burning!!

I will do an hour of cardio and 20 minutes of strength training each day as well as increase my overall activity levels. That means taking the dogs on a couple of walks, finish up home projects such as painting or caulking trim, cleaning, organizing, mowing the lawn, etc. I just need to start getting up and moving. I wish I could exercise and eat the VLCD but after doing that the other day I was pretty hungry and it pretty much wiped me out for the rest of the day and that was only doing 30 minutes of some not so hard cardio! I need the extra calories if I plan on increasing my activity level and exercise plan.

This week will be a big week for me. I am going off the HCG as of last night and I will slowly increase my calories. Then starting next Monday I will be begin my exercise plan. Yeah, yeah, yeah it is the 4th of July but eh, Kyle will still be sleeping from his night shift the night before and it gives me time to get my cardio in. The reason I am starting Monday is because I am going back to my parents house this weekend. My nephews will have been there for the week and I thought I would go back and help my mom. Playing with the kids alllllll day is a ton of activity and I want to be able to have a few extra calories to keep up with them and not feel starving. So technically I will be starting upping the activity level on Thursday. Four and two year olds are busy as hell! LOL!

I have a lot of learning to do as I have never ever strength trained in the last 12-13 years. Probably the last time I did any of that was when I was in high school and we would strength train for whatever sport I was in at the time. It is definitely time for me to get a lot stronger than what I am now and I am excited to see where this takes me!

weight loss stalls

2011-06-25T10:16:00.001-05:00

I am seriously so annoyed right now. My body will not lose this damn weight and I have been stuck at 176.6 for the last 3 weigh-ins. Give it up already body! LOL!

My guess is that I am retaining a little bit of water from yesterday as I didn't get in as much water as I normally do. I could also be getting my period in the next week and I never seem to lose weight the week before my period. It seems a little early for that though so I don't think that is it. My biggest guess is the damn chocolate. No not the kind with real sugar in it but the sugar free kind or the homemade stuff with Xylitol. Another idea is is that I am really only 10 pounds away from a weight I was for 3 years in high school so it is just having a hard time getting beyond what my body was once used to. Not sure how much stock I put into that theory but I have heard this can be an issue for some people. And last but not least, I need to poop. :)

Whatever the reason is I don't care at this point and I just want the weight to come off. I hate being annoyed with myself.

some of my favorite meals

2011-06-24T12:39:00.000-05:00

You all know about how I hate to cook right? Well I am getting better at it but I will admit that I lack creativity in the kitchen. I tend to gravitate towards super easy quick meals that I know are yummy and end up making the same few meals over and over and over again.

First up eggs mixed with any sort of veggie but my most favorite is broccoli! I can't get enough of this stuff! This picture features 2oz. of cut up red potatoes but I haven't had that in a long time as I don't have any here at the house. I normally just do eggs and broccoli or spinach as my main veggies.

My 2nd favorite meal is ground beef or turkey or even chicken with homemade taco seasoning. I have come up with a few different ways to eat the taco meat which includes taco salad and taco lettuce wraps. You are thinking duh that is normally what you would do with taco meat when not in a shell. LOL! See I told you I like easy and simple!

And my other favorite lately is Tilapia cooked in coconut oil. It is soooooo good and putting it with some broccoli really makes for a filling dinner.

120 POUNDS LOST!!

2011-06-23T15:00:00.000-05:00

Yup there it is!!! I am officially down 120 pounds and I am soooooooo excited about it!! WooHoo!!!

for the love EXERCISE!

2011-06-21T14:33:00.001-05:00

I honestly can't believe I have been able to lose so much weight without exercising and while it has been nice I think it is time to start getting my workout on.

I don't plan on doing much as far as exercise goes because 1) I am just starting out 2) I am going to take this slow 3) I am completely out of shape 4) I am all about doing as little as possible in the world of exercise. LOL!

In anticipation of my new daily activity I went out and bought some crazy comfortable shoes. I seriously love them! They are so light that I barely feel them on my feet and it almost feels like they mold to my foot. No idea if they are a good shoe or not but for me they are perfect. *yup that statement is based on 1 single workout. LMAO!*

So today I got on the treadmill for the first time in a really really long time. I know I said I was going to start exercising awhile ago but I never really got into it. In fact the treadmill thought I weighed 234 pounds. Um nope, that would be in the 170's stupid treadmill! Anyway, after reading lots of Paleo blogs and being absolutely terrified of doing a Crossfit workout such as this...

I decided on a nice slow walk doing interval hills at a MAX speed of 3.8mph. I walked 1.42 miles in 30 minutes which should tell you that when I wasn't walking 3.8 I was averaging 2.5mph. LOL! Good job Michaela! *blushing from embarrassment*

Just so I wouldn't feel completely out of shape I held a plank for 45 seconds to prove to myself that there really are abs underneath there. :) Again not a stellar performance and not even close to those "nasty" girls in the video but hey it is progress right?

It really did feel great to get up and actually do something beyond facebook and watching the stupid Casey Anthony trial. I have also been trying to go outside with the dogs for a minimum of 15 minutes for 3 times a day to play ball and soak up some Vitamin D. Of course this activity goes beyond my daily maid responsibilities.

Actually I am pretty proud of the schedule I have going on as far as cleaning the house goes. On Mondays & Thursdays I clean the downstairs and on Tuesdays & Fridays I clean the upstairs. Tuesdays & Fridays are also laundry days since I am cleaning the upstairs and every other Friday I clean the bathrooms. So far it has been super easy to keep up but like I told some friends of mine what else is a jobless housewife to do with her time?! LOL! Seriously I am beyond lucky that I get to stay home and my sole responsibility is to take care of myself and my home. It rocks.

So after a shitty weekend of eating I got off my ass and did a little exercise. I can't wait to see where this takes me!!

few words

2011-06-20T12:09:00.000-05:00

I only have a few words for this post...

MICHAELA GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER.

that's all.

pushing the limits

2011-06-16T20:38:00.000-05:00

The last few days I have been pushing the limits but not in a good way. The last few days I have been in this funk where the fun of cooking is wearing off, the fun of thinking up new meals is wearing off, and my motivation is lacking.

In more ways than one I have been pushing the limits as far as what I can eat yet still not gain weight or perhaps try and lose weight. It all started with a single cashew. I ate it, didn't think twice and of course I didn't gain weight so I pushed a little more and yesterday I had a few more nuts. You would think stepping on the scale this morning and not seeing it move would motivate me not to eat more nuts. Nope. I ate more nuts today and now I am kicking myself.

I have no idea why I do this to myself but I repeatedly push the limits when I am given a little wiggle room. Starting tomorrow there will be no more wiggle room and I will be tracking everything I eat and the nuts are going in the freezer. I was doing so good at tracking my meals and making sure I stayed within my limits of 50g of fat and protein and then 25g of carbs but noooooo I had to go and push the limits to see how far I could go without doing any damage. In some respects I wish I would have seen a gain from eating cake this weekend because nothing pisses me off more than gaining weight while on this type of a diet. Why I put myself through all this hard work only to ruin it with a couple of nuts? It isn't even about the nuts, nuts are healthy and good for you but come on I have already eaten my allotted calories for the day and there is no reason to push the limits when they don't need to be pushed.

I am only 1.2 pounds away from losing 120 pounds and there is no reason I shouldn't be doing a lot better than this. This process is so hard and why I am making it harder on myself is beyond me.

Tomorrow is a new day.

Paleo Diet Infographic

2011-06-15T12:52:00.000-05:00

I have seen this on a number of blogs lately and thought I would share too! Click on it to make it bigger!

my diets throughout the years

2011-06-14T11:57:00.002-05:00

I was updating my blog yesterday and realized that I haven't really talked much on the diets I have done throughout the years and how they got me to where I am today.

One thing I have realized is that diets aren't one size fits all however most of them will get you somewhere if you stick to it and tweak the program to your body's needs.

Diet Center - 1997
The very first diet I was ever on in my life was Diet Center back in 1997 when I was 17 years old. That summer I decided I wanted to lose a few pounds before my senior pictures. I didn't necessarily think I was overweight, just that it would be nice to lose a few pounds before someone was taking a picture of me that would most likely hang around my parents house for a pretty long time. LOL!

It was a great diet, and if I am remembering correctly I was allowed to eat a certain number of carbs, proteins, dairy, and veggies. The number of carbs wasn't necessarily measured by grams but it was measured by a piece of bread equaling 1 carb if that makes sense. They also measured my body fat with this machine that hooked electrodes up to my body, took my measurements and weighed me every week. This was by far the easiest diet I have ever been on but not because of the diet itself but because of my will power as well as my physical activity.

I was extremely active back in High School being involved in sports as well as detasseling corn (click to watch a video of what this is). I would walk miles and miles and miles in the corn fields for about 8-10 hours per day and then I would go and play basketball or volleyball that night for the leagues I was in. It was insane but hey I lost about 10 pounds doing it as well as lots of body fat. I can't remember the details but I do remember feeling great after doing this diet.

Weight Watchers - 1999 to Aug. 2010
Good old WW. This was my go to diet for years and years and years. This diet worked while I was on it but it was the slowest weight loss I have ever had in my life. We are talking less than a pound a week and it was by far the most frustrating to deal with. Sure I got to eat whatever I wanted as long as I counted the points but it wasn't restrictive enough for me and well it wasn't the healthiest either. Sorry but boxed meals should never be in someone's freezer at any time in their life. They are full of crap and with ingredient lists longer than one can imagine they just should never enter the freezer.

When I started WW in 1999 my sophomore year of college I remember weighing in at 232 or 233 pounds. I had obviously gained a ton of weight my freshman and sophomore year of college (about 75 pounds) and WW seemed to be the it diet because it was "balanced." I tried it out and I would say 90% of the time struggled to stay on it. The cravings were horrendous and I don't think I could eat enough of the WW brand ice cream desserts!

I was in complete denial about my PCOS and I always said that everyone should be eating a "balanced diet" and that WW was by far the healthiest and best "lifestyle" diet out there. Boy was I wrong. I don't think I could ever bash one particular diet as WW has worked for lots of people out there but my views of a balanced have completely changed. Introduce the HCG Diet...

HCG Diet - Sept. 2010 to present
I was first introduced to this diet by my MIL who had been doing it for about a year off and on. She had lost a ton of weight specifically from her belly and she looked great. The only problem, I was still stuck in WW mentality and I thought she was absolutely nuts for only eating 500 calories. I thought there was no way someone could only eat that little bit and not be hungry AND keep it off. I was a major skeptic until one day I decided to book an appointment with a doctor and just go for it.

I lost almost 26 pounds in 35 days and I was sold. I couldn't believe how fast the weight was falling off, that I wasn't hungry and that I felt fantastic! I knew I was a carb addict and that I needed to stop eating them because of my insulin resistance but I never was able to kick them to the curb on my own. The HCG definitely helped with that and I highly doubt I would be 118 pounds lighter had it not been for the discovery of this diet.

The first round was a piece of cake and I kept all of my weight off for 8 weeks and that includes Thanksgiving and Christmas! What I didn't understand was what it would be like to try and change my thinking of never having carbs again in my life. I thought for sure I would be able to add them back in at some point because they are healthy right? Um no. I was completely wrong as I ended up gaining 8-9 pounds back between rounds 2 and 3 simply by eating crap and dabbling with a few carbs here and there.

I was in a complete panic at this point and I thought there is no way I am going to be able to keep this weight off. What do you mean I can't have carbs the rest of my life. How in the world will I live if I can never have pasta, rice, bread, etc.? Seriously I was in complete denial until I read The Paleo Solution (book is in my recommend book section with a link to the author if you click on it.) This was the eye opener that I needed to realize that I absolutely 100% never need to eat another grain or sugar ever again. Seriously. This is how I plan to keep the weight off for the rest of my life and it will be my new "lifestyle."

This book showed me that grains are pretty much pointless and do nothing for you nutritionally. Fiber? That would be from the veggies you will learn to love and adore especially with some delicious olive oil drizzled over them. :) Along with grains dairy is also pretty pointless except for the calcium and well because who doesn't love cheese. Okay my friend Allison hates cheese but she is the only person I know that does. LOL! I am still having a hard time with the idea of giving up dairy especially when I think of cheese and blue cheese dressing but what I do know is that I don't have to eat massive amounts of it nor do I have to have this on a daily basis.

I have thoroughly enjoyed being on a Paleo/Caveman/Hunger-Gatherer type diet and my honest opinion is that if you are overweight and have belly fat then you should be on it too. Most people who are overweight have some degree of insulin resistance caused by all of the grains and sugars in our diets. I bet that if you were to read the book mentioned above, you will completely change your views of carbs. I know it was an eye opener for me and it will be a struggle to cut somethings out but you know what, living is way more important than a piece of bread.

So there ya have it. My long history of dieting with my not so long list of diets. If there was one piece of advice that I could give to anyone that is overweight it would be to keep trying a diet and tweaking it until it fits you. I have a feeling most people reading my blog would benefit tremendously from reading about insulin resistance and the Paleo diet but I also understand what it is like to go against the grain especially when we have heard for so long that low fat is the way to go. Fat is not your enemy, insulin resistance is.

Paleo Diet - goal weight and beyond...

cake balls, cherry wine, and good times

2011-06-13T10:09:00.001-05:00

This last weekend we went to my Grandparents house as well as my Aunt & Uncle's house to celebrate my Grandma's 80th birthday as well as my Grandparent's 60th wedding anniversary! Can you believe it...SIXTY years!

Before we left I decided that I would just pack my own lunch and dinner for Saturday because I had no idea what was on the menu and I didn't want to ruin my progress just because I wasn't prepared. I am used to bringing my own meals to my parent's house so I knew they wouldn't think twice about it but I was a little worried about having to field some questions from other relatives. I talked to a good friend and she reminded me that even if they did ask me questions it wouldn't be so bad especially since they all noticed how great I looked a few weeks ago at my cousin's wedding.

So I packed up my cooler with 2 different salads. One topped with 3 hard boiled eggs with a lemon and olive oil dressing and the other salad was topped with chicken and blue cheese dressing. I did great over lunch and ate my own salad while I watched people devour chicken salad croissant sandwiches and my Grandma's delicious assortment of desserts which included mini cheesecakes, red velvet cake balls, chocolate truffles, mini bite sized pecan pies, etc. You get the hint right?

After hanging out all afternoon we went over to my aunt and uncle's house where they had BBQ chicken, fruit, potato salad, and dammit my grandma brought her extra dessert! LOL! So not only did I have to sit through lunch watching people eat this goodness but I had to watch during dinner as well.

I CAVED. :( I ate a couple of cake balls, one of her mini desserts, and I had a small piece of white cake for their anniversary. I seriously didn't have any self control whatsoever. My aunt also had some homemade cherry wine from their farm and OMG it was fantastic! I have never had homemade wine before but um yeah, pretty much sooooo good!

Not all is lost though because well this is life and I just have to deal with it. I refuse to beat myself up about it and this won't kill me at all. Did it set me back a little? Sure it did but it isn't the end of the world and I got up the next morning and made the decision to move on. I think what helped the most is that I couldn't weigh in yesterday after the cake and this morning I was lucky enough to see the same number I saw when I woke up Saturday morning. Phew! 179.4 so i didn't lose anything except a little time.

To make up for eating cake I decided to do a mini steak day and I ate a 7.25oz filet mignon topped with a tablespoon of butter for dinner. It was heaven and well it seemed to do the trick!

We had a blast playing with the kids, the dogs, and visiting their cow Howie. LOL! It was a great night sitting around the fire with people playing horseshoes and card games in the background. We had so much fun celebrating my wonderful Grandparents and including eating cake I still had a fantastic weekend. Life is good.

things to look forward to

2011-06-09T10:19:00.000-05:00

Now that I am in the final stretch of my weight loss journey I find myself dreaming about the possibilities. What clothes will I be able wear? What will I look like? Will people recognize me if they haven't seen me in awhile? Etc., etc., etc.

There is one thing that I keep thinking and dreaming about lately and that is owning a pair of designer jeans. Right now I could care less about the health benefits or how good I will feel (okay I do care but come on lets talk vanity for a minute), it is thinking more along the lines of...will my ass look as good in these jeans as this? LOL!

Okay so that is a pretty loft goal considering the ass in the picture but hey a girl can dream right?! I have never owned a pair of designer jeans nor have I ever shopped in regular stores up until a few months ago. The last 12 years have been spent in the plus size section and hating every second of it.

I knew I would be happier if I was thinner and healthier but honestly I had no idea how happy this would make me feel. I no longer struggle with day to day tasks and decisions as this new lifestyle is just that...a lifestyle. It is second nature, feels like I have been doing it for years, and the best part about all of this is that I did it. I accomplished something that I never thought I could. I never thought I would be dreaming about designer jeans when I could barely get through making a good choice at a restaurant and worrying about the consequences the next day. I never thought I would be posting a picture of the space between my thighs and being over the moon excited about it. I am seriously loving every second of it.

Right now I am only 15 pounds away from what I weighed in HS which was 13 or 14 years ago. My goal weight at this time is 140 and I just know I can get there. One hundred and forty pounds. It looks and sounds just as good as the ass in those ^^^jeans^^^. I am stuck in one helluva dream and I never plan on leaving.

the space between my thighs

2011-06-08T15:54:00.000-05:00

Today I finished cleaning up the house and doing my daily routine stuff and decided it was a nice warm day to go outside and play with the dogs. I took my handy dandy beach thing, my water, and of course my cell phone and headed out to bear the heat.

The dogs take a break from running after the ball for the billionth time and I laid back to enjoy the peace and quiet. That is when I look up and I notice something that I don't notice often.

Yes folks, that is an actual space between my thighs! Thank goodness I had my phone to capture the moment huh?! LOL!

It is the little things like this that make this weight loss journey worth while. Of course I feel better on a day to day basis but come on a space between the thighs WITH my knees touching...priceless.

14.6 pounds lost in week 1!!!!

2011-06-07T14:30:00.000-05:00

Okay I wasn't going to tell you all how much I had really gained because like I said I was completely embarrassed and it was easier not admitting it to the world and to myself. I have finally realized that sugar is not good for me (ya think I would have realized this a decade ago since I gain weight every time I eat sugary starchy carbs by anyway), I decided to have a giant piece of cheesecake the day before I started the diet and guess what, I gained 6 pounds. Yup 6 pounds. Seriously that stuff is the devil and it has clicked that I can only have it in moderation about once a year.

Gaining that weight was seriously the most disgusting thing ever. I felt gross, I was cross with Kyle, I didn't feel like dressing up or doing my hair. I literally felt like sitting around all day and doing nothing but feeling mad and sorry for myself. In my defense I didn't really gain 14.6 pounds all at once, I just kept slowly gaining and I kept trying to push the limits. A little more food here and there, add on 6 pounds in one night and bam there ya have it! I was pretty much 183 for the longest time and then it was down hill from there and why I started the diet early again.

So what am I going to do to keep it off the in the future? The Paleo Diet. I have updated my suggest reading on the side of the blog and I am loving every single one of them. I haven't read 2 of them but they are on my list and there are only so many hours in the day to finish them all. If only I was a speed reader! There is some fantastic information in there and I can't wait to feel even better than I do now!

Everyday is a learning experience for me and thank God my brain is a sponge at this point or I know I would be back to the same old habits. Right now I am not exactly doing Paleo because this diet is hard enough and I am still losing great even though I am eating 2oz of potato or a slice of Ezekiel Bread. I really need to eliminate all grains and starchy stuff like potatoes so I am will do that once this diet is over. Right now I will do what works because I feel good and it is working. Changing your way of life takes work and it takes time. I am almost there and by the end of the summer I will be full on Paleo!

I am finally back down below my last injection weight of 180.6 and down to 180.2. I will be in the 70's before I know it and I am only 15 pounds away from what I weighed in that sexy black dress on the right! I can only imagine how good I will look and feel at 140!!

I will now update my daily weights on my daily weight loss page as well as update my ticker. My will power is here to stay and I am beyond excited to achieve success!!!

variety is key

2011-06-01T20:14:00.000-05:00

I am loving this modified diet that I am doing!! For me at this point in the weight loss journey, I can't keep doing the same thing over and over again without getting burnt out. I need to mix it up or I know I will get frustrated and the more frustrated I get the more likely it is I will want to quit. I can't quit, quitting is not an option at this point.

Today I have enjoyed eating lots of yummy food and besides the low amount of calories I am loving it! For lunch I had 3 extra large eggs with 1 tablespoon of butter and 2 cups of steamed spinach. For dinner I had 4oz of shrimp cooked in 1tbsp of coconut oil, 2oz of red potato with 2tsp of olive oil, and then steamed spinach again. Since I needed the fat I poured the extra coconut oil I had in the pan over the spinach and shrimp and it was soooooo good! Can we say coconut shrimp without frying it?! I love it!

I am dealing with some nagging hunger and as much as I wanted to come back here in a week and say I did it all without HCG, I think I am going to have to start taking the pellets again. I went all day yesterday without them and today as well but I can see the hunger starting to get a bit much for me to handle. Who knows, I may wake up and feel differently tomorrow but for now I am going to start the HCG again and hopefully that will help. If not I am not quite sure what I will do but I am sure I can figure it all out.

The good news is that in the first 2 days of the diet I have lost more weight than I have the previous 2 rounds in the first few days! Of course I still am not down to where I was but I am hopeful I will be there soon!

first day back on the diet!

2011-05-30T19:30:00.001-05:00

Thank God I am back on the diet and can get this weight off!!! Today was the first day and besides my stupid headache/migraine that won't freaking leave it has been a good day!!

I am trying a few different things with the diet and adding in more fat and so far I have felt the same as I did without the fat. LOL! I am sure I will feel different in the end because I will be eating a higher amount of calories and in my mind I am pretty sure this is the route I need to go.

I ate 621 calories today which consisted of 29 grams of fat, 22 grams of carbs, and 50 grams of protein.

For lunch I had 3.5oz of 96/4 ground beef cooked in 1.5 teaspoons of coconut oil and some taco seasoning over a bed of lettuce and mushrooms on top.

Dinner was 4oz of 93/7 ground beef pattied (sp?) into a hamburger and cooked on the stove. Then I had a slice of Ezekiel Bread (cinnamon raisin) with a tablespoon of butter. Actually some of the butter went on top of the hamburger because a tablespoon is too much for one slice of bread. LOL!

I really really need to add in more veggies so I am going to get some tomorrow and hopefully I will start to enjoy them again! I did buy some broccoli but the taco salad for lunch sounded better.

I will start updating my weight once I get down below 180.6. It may take awhile :(

work to be done

2011-05-28T16:10:00.000-05:00

Even after having lost all this weight I still have work to do in the emotional department. LOL! I don't even want to admit that I have gained back about 8-9 pounds because it is completely embarrassing and I feel like a giant failure. Thank God I start another round tomorrow to get this weight back off and get back on track.

So what happened??? Well I got lazy and I was just going through the motions of everyday life. This last week I decided to deep clean and organize my entire house and when I was cleaning out the refrigerator/freezer I noticed that we really didn't have a lot of food. I sat and tried to think about the last meal I actually cooked and I honestly couldn't think of anything except chicken sausages (all sorts of flavors), hard boiled eggs, and macadamia nuts. Not joking. For the last 3 weeks I have eaten a variation of those three things and I never thought anything of it. Why? Because it is easy.

My biggest flaw in life is always wanting to take the easy way out, in fact I think my Dad told me to "quit taking the easy way out" about a million times when I was growing up and I guess after 31 years I still haven't figured out how NOT to do that. It drives me crazy, I get motivated and do soooo well and then poof I slip right back into my easy ways and before I know it a ton of time has passed.

I really need to start experimenting and cooking meals so that I can learn how to cook without getting frustrated and throwing a sausage in the microwave or cooking a dozen hard boiled eggs to eat for a few days. I honestly can't believe that I wasn't aware of what I as eating and what I was doing yet I was so frustrated that my weight would seem to go up and down no matter what. How I didn't think to change my diet is beyond me especially when that is all I have been thinking about for the past 8 months!

Needless to say I have a lot of work to do and I am 98% sure I will figure this out! I wasn't going to do the HCG anymore but I decided to give it one more try and see what happens. I am making a few changes to the protocol and adding in more fats and cutting out the fruit to see if that helps keep my insulin levels low and controls some of the hunger issues I had in the last 2 rounds. I am also not doing the shots and going the homeopathic route and using the pellets instead. Why not right? I mean the shots worked for a period of time and then they didn't and now I am just all sorts of confused as to what I should be doing. What I do know is that I lost weight on the diet and with the exception of the last 3 weeks I was doing great at maintaining my weight.

If it ain't broke don't fix it right?!

birthday excitement

2011-05-19T14:01:00.001-05:00

Today is my 31st birthday and OMG I can't believe another year has gone by so fast! I feel like I will be 40 before I know it!

I also can't believe I forgot to update on my blood work for my liver and insulin! About a year ago my insulin levels were through the roof at 26 and a week ago they were all the way down to 10!!! I am thrilled with the results and all of this hard work has paid off. I still have to go on Metformin for IVF because it helps improve egg quality and technically I am still insulin resistant but hey I will take it! It is so nice to finally get some more reassurance that I am improving my health besides watching the scale go down when losing weight.

My liver enzymes were also elevated a few months ago, well only my ALT levels but it freaked me out that they were so high at 93. I had those done again and my ALT is now at a normal level of 15!! WooHoo! I was so scared they weren't going to be lower and I would have to do more testing to figure out if I had non-alcoholic fatty liver disease or something else wrong with me. I don't know if it was the liver detox/regenerator pills I took for 2 months or if the levels were elevated because of rapid weight loss but at this point I don't care. They are normal and that is all that matters.

Now on to the crappy news. I have gained some weight and I am so annoyed with myself. Some of it was from the wedding as I had 3 days worth of eating food I didn't know the ingredients of and some of it was flat out eating too much. My first round was so easy and I thought this round would be the same but it isn't and I have to figure this out soon.

I am thinking of starting back on the weight loss train a little earlier than planned but we will see how things go. I just feel out of control right now and it is a scary feeling but I am sure I will pull it together and move forward. Weight loss is definitely more of a mental struggle than anything!

So to end this fabulous birthday blog post I think everyone should read this post on Mark's Daily Apple regarding carbs. One thing I have learned in this journey is there is so much I don't know about nutrition! I plan on doing this type of diet/lifestyle when I am in maintenance mode and hopefully that will keep my weight in check as well as my insulin levels. :)

http://www.marksdailyapple.com/a-metabolic-paradigm-shift-fat-carbs-human-body-metabolism/

wedding & my fat to skinny face

2011-05-15T16:33:00.000-05:00

I was trying to blog a few days ago and blogger was down. I hate it when that happens! Anyway, this weekend was a blast as we went to my cousin's wedding and made a mini family vacation out of it. We went to Adventureland in Des Moines, IA but the only thing we really got to see was the inside of the hotel. LOL! It was so freaking cold that we couldn't ride the rides with the kids and there is no way anybody was going to the water park in 48º weather! Thank goodness they had 2 indoor pools and the kids had a blast and provided the adults with entertainment. Sometimes I wonder what we all did when there weren't little kids running around. You should see us all, we just sit around and watch the 4 and 2 year old boys and 5 month old girl do absolutely nothing but be kids. It is hysterical if you stand back and just observe everyone starring at the little kids and laughing when they do the dumbest things. So cute though!

Last night we had the wedding and oh my God was it a blast! Everything was beautiful and it was so much fun hanging out with my cousins as we only get to do that once or twice a year during the holidays. It makes me want to get married again (of course to the same guy) especially now that I am way skinnier than when we got married in 2002. When I get to my goal weight I will have to pull out my wedding dress and see what I look like!

Speaking of what I used to look like...I was looking for a piece of paper to write on in my husband's truck and found an envelope with my old military ID in it! I couldn't stop laughing and starring at the picture in shock of how different I look now than I did 5 years ago.

Can you believe the difference in my face?! I actually have eyes and a jaw line! Better yet you can actually see my ears! LMAO! I look at the picture and I just can't believe how sad I look inside yet I look at the picture on the right and I see a confident and fun person. It is amazing what a little confidence can do for a person and my husband was always right, he just wanted the girl with confidence back. He didn't care what I looked like but he knew that if I had an ounce of the confidence I did when we first met in High School that I would do something about my weight and he was absolutely right. Nothing feels better than knowing that I look a helluva lot better!!!!!!

pure heaven...

2011-05-10T12:53:00.000-05:00

I have found my ultimate piece of heaven in healthy food world. Cocoa Crack. Yup that's right it is cocoa crack because it is so highly addictive and I want to eat it all the time! LOL! Here is the recipe:

1Tbsp Coconut Oil
1Tbsp Xylitol
1Tbsp Cocoa Powder

Melt the oil and the xylitol together so that the xylitol melts. I usually do it in the microwave for about 1.5 minutes or longer depending on how much of this I make at once.

Then add the cocoa powder and mix it up until it is all combined and smooth.

Pour onto wax paper or what I do since it is pretty runny is line a tupperware dish with nonstick foil and poor it in there. Pop it into the freezer to let it harden up and then all you have to do is break apart pieces and enjoy.

It is seriously so good and coconut oil is beyond good for you! I have also put almonds and unsweetened coconut in the bottom of the dish and then poured the chocolate mix over it. I swear it tastes as a good as an Almond Joy candy bar!

If you want to make a bigger batch just make sure the ratios are the same 1:1:1 and ENJOY!

just when I thought life was grand...

2011-05-06T11:14:00.000-05:00

I read a blog about insulin resistance and liver disease.

Last year I had my insulin tested and it came back at an astonishing 26. My Reproductive Endocrinologist wants it below a 10 in order not to be on Metformin but I wanted to see what I could do to decrease those levels via weight loss.

Of course I should state that I was in an absolute panic yesterday about all of this thinking the worst possible scenario but then I realized that there is no need to panic about my health just yet.

Remember 2 months ago I had blood work done and it came back that my ALT liver enzymes were elevated and they were sure why? Well wouldn't you know insulin resistance left untreated can cause liver damage. Yup that is when I started freaking out. I called my regular Endo and got an appointment for next Friday to have my levels redrawn since I really don't know if it was because I had my blood drawn while I was doing the HCG diet and my liver was just tired of processing the fat and toxins in my body or if I do in fact have something wrong with my liver.

I have also spent the last 2 days reading and rereading this blog and I am shocked that I could have been doing it wrong all this time. Of course I have lost 115+ pounds but that doesn't mean my insulin levels will have necessarily changed especially if I haven't been eating the right types of foods or the proper ratio of fat, protein and carbs.

You all know that I have been eating low carb for quite some time now and I have really really enjoyed it and it has been able to help me keep this weight off. What I didn't realize was that all of the extra protein that I have been feeding myself could have been doing more harm than good to my insulin resistance. Did you know that extra protein in the body turns to glucose?! Yes glucose. In a normal healthy person without IR this would not be an issue but when I don't need anymore glucose in my body this is not good for me. I really don't understand the science behind all of it to explain it and have you understand it, I am horrible at stuff like that! LOL! I would have you all confused by the end anyway.

So that brings me to my next stop in the road to getting health which will be to have my labs redrawn and figure out where I stand with my insulin levels. I will be devastated if my if my insulin levels aren't any better than what they were when I was 60-70 pounds heavier but they have to be right?! Gah, I hate this stuff! It just makes me sad to think what an idiot I was for not doing something about my weight and thinking all would be good because I am in my 20's. Yeah right. I guess at least I am on the road to getting as healthy as possible and I will do whatever it takes to get there. That is what matters the most. Small little bump in the road but I will get over it.

I will most likely walk away with a prescription for Metformin, AGAIN, but hey if that helps me lose weight even faster by bringing my insulin levels down then I am all for it! We shall see! Even better if the Metformin brings down my insulin levels so that I can have better quality eggs for IVF well then it will all be worth it in the end.

I can't believe it is already May!

2011-05-02T20:09:00.000-05:00

Wow does the time fly by when you are relaxing and having fun!!

I haven't really been up to much except enjoying the nice weather and playing outside with my dogs. My husband is still working 4 on, 1 off with 12 hour shifts and it is getting extremely old. I just want him to be done with this so that I can actually see him more than 2 hours each day.

Other than that I have been doing just okay on the plan. Still dealing with wanting to snack every 2 seconds of the day but so far my weight is stable and I guess I shouldn't be too worried. I just want a little more control than what I currently have but I am sure it will all even out in the end and I won't have anything to worry about.

I am going to keep relaxing and enjoying the beautiful weather!

had a bad day

2011-04-21T11:51:00.000-05:00

At some point I am going to have to allow myself to fall so that I can learn how to get back up and keep going. Tuesday I fell hard. Tuesday and part of Wednesday were extremely hard days as far as eating is concerned and I failed miserably. I ate 1/2 of a cookie, lots of sugar free chocolate and overall just a ton of food. It was like I was starving for some unknown reason and I just couldn't control my cravings. Even my husband noticed and said to me "um is it that time of the month?" Wouldn't you know by the time he left for work I had started spotting. LOL! I hate that he knows my body better than I do.

So as the day went on and I continued to eat, I hoped online to check out good old facebook. That is when I saw that a friend had posted this video on her facebook page and I realized that no matter how hard you fall you have to get back up and just keep going. It is okay to have a bad day, although I seem to be having more than normal or coming up with excuses for having a bad day but you know what? THAT IS LIFE. Life seriously sucks sometimes but you just have to keep going and striving to be better no matter what. Falling down is part of the process, part of life.

hey treadmill...remember me?

2011-04-18T13:24:00.000-05:00

Well I think it is time to hop back on the treadmill and get in shape! This round has been tough for me as far as eating habits go. I just can't stop eating nuts and today they are going in the freezer. I will put them in individual bags and I will pull one out each day. Nuts are very good source of protein and good healthy fats but I am guessing that I am eating about 2 cups worth. ROFL!! Okay maybe not that much but it wouldn't surprise me if I was. Bad I know.

I am thinking about doing nice long walks on the treadmill, not the kind that are going to make me sweat like no other and I want to pass out and die. Just the kind of walks where I break a little sweat, get my heart rate up, and burn some calories while I watch a movie. At least that is the plan starting out because I haven't worked out in forever. I need to get my muscles used to actually doing something around here besides cleaning the house and playing with the dogs. LOL!

So what I am realizing is that if I want to eat nuts then I have to workout. Pretty good trade off right? I figure if I work out to get in shape then having a few nuts each day isn't going to kill me. I just need to make sure I don't have access to them. Here is my stash, pretty ridiculous huh?!

I just need to get back to basics and get excited about cooking a meal instead of wanting to have something ready in 5 minutes. What I should probably do is make big batches of the meals I like and that way I have leftovers and it is ready in 5 minutes! LOL! One thing I want to try is cauliflower used as mash potatoes. It sounds soooo good and I need to up my veggie intake so it sounds perfect to me!

Other menu ideas that I absolutely love but I haven't eaten much of is a taco salad, turkey burger wrapped in lettuce, chicken fajitas (without the shell of course), grilled chicken, etc. Okay this is ridiculous, I just realized when I typed out all of those good foods that I am just being lazy. Flat out lazy. Time to get my ass in gear and eat something other than nuts all day.

thank God this week is over

2011-04-15T19:02:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was my Uncle's funeral and it was really hard but yet nice all at the same time. Funerals are never easy. :(

I am so glad that my weight has remained pretty stable this round and that I am not having any issues. I still need to make sure I am not doing too much snacking because that is by far my weakness but so far so good. For some reason I get bored or just get the urge to snack and before I know it I am wandering around in the panty or staring at the refrigerator. LOL!

This round I am trying to eat more veggies and I wish I was a better and more patient cook. I just want meals that I can cook in about 5 minutes which means I am eating a lot of salad. I am loving this already grilled chicken breast strips stuff that I get at Costco as it is super easy to throw on salads. Of course there are the chicken sausages which are my first love but I have to make sure I am getting good healthy fats which are usually not found in sausage. I have also really loved making a bunch of hard boiled eggs and throwing those in salads or even making some egg salad with mayo. Greek yogurt with a few almonds are my favorite snack and today I ended up adding some cocoa powder to the normal recipe of Truvia and almonds and it was delicious!! This could be my new found chocolate love!!

I can't wait for the warm weather to come back as I really enjoyed being outside doing yard work and hanging out with my dogs sitting on the deck! I am not a fan of being super hot so spring and fall are some of my most favorite times of year! Not a ton of bugs out and you are sweating just sitting there, that is my kind of weather!

Enjoy your weekend!

I am in love with macadamia nuts!

2011-04-11T14:25:00.000-05:00

I seriously can't get enough of these little things!! I had to hide them yesterday as well as hide the sugar free chocolate covered almonds because I am not able to stop myself from snacking on them all day long. I am glad I am picking healthy foods to snack on but when I am eating tons and tons of it, I don't think that is healthy anymore. LOL!

Nuts are something that I can snack on all day and not feel guilty. Some of my favorite nuts are smoked almonds, salted almonds, macadamia nuts, and pecans. YUM! I am sure I have talked about this before but one of my all time favorite snacks is Greek yogurt sweetened with Truvia and then smoked almonds mixed it. I could have that every single day of the week and never get tired of it.

I am also loving pine nuts lately and have really enjoyed putting them on top of my salads and as a snack. Well that the snack part was a given. LOL! I think one night this week I am going to grill some chicken and then put a tomato sauce over it with pine nuts sprinkled over the top. I have always loved pine nuts in my spaghetti but since I can't have the pasta I will just leave it out and eat it as if it was there.

One nut I do not like at all but will force myself to eat every once in awhile is the Brazil nut. Those huge honking things are just super gross to me and I am not sure I will ever enjoy eating them no matter how many times I try.

What are some of your favorite nuts and what is your favorite way of eating them? I would love some ideas!

death & emotional eating

2011-04-09T10:35:00.000-05:00

The last few days have been extremely hard to control my emotional eating. Good thing I have done this for long enough to know that chocolate cake isn't a cure all so I haven't been eating anything bad for me but I have consumed a ridiculous amounts of nuts and sugar free chocolate.

The last few days I have spent at the hospital with my uncle who ended up passing away last night after he lost his battle with Leukemia. He was just diagnosed about 3 weeks ago but with his blood disorder on top of the Leukemia we all knew this wasn't going to go well.

On Thursday they decided to stop all his treatments such as dialysis and trying to get his blood pressure up and moved him to comfort care. By Thursday afternoon they had pulled all of his monitors off, stopped all his medications except for the pain meds and just let him rest comfortably. His breathing slowed and my Aunt decided that she wanted to take him home and let him pass away in the house he loved.

Yesterday morning they were able to get him home and they set up a bed right there in the living room and put two big leather chairs on each side so someone could always be holding his hand should the time come. He looked like a king laying in that big bed with his family all around him and sharing happy memories. He looked so peaceful.

We left last night around 10pm and when I left I kissed his cheek and said to him "Uncle Bob it is time to let go. Everyone is around you and loves you and it is time to find everlasting peace." On my way home 45 minutes later my Dad calls (this was my Dad's brother) and said that he had passed away. :(

It was so hard seeing my Aunt having to watch her husband slowly die but yet it was so nice to be able to have closure and to know it was going to happen. On Thursday she was obviously a wreck but by yesterday evening I could tell that she had said her goodbyes and that she was ready for him to head up to Heaven.

So all in all the last few days have been super shitty yet it also made me realize that life is to short to be eating for no reason at all. Sugar free chocolate chips and nuts will not take the sadness away, it will not bring my Uncle back, and it will not cure cancer. What will take the sadness away is celebrating life and realize how blessed and fortunate I am to be healthy and take comfort in family not food.

RIP Uncle Bob, we will miss you.

i am back from vacation!

2011-04-05T17:46:00.000-05:00

Yup that picture is where I was for the last few days! I went to Laguna Beach to meet up with a few friends and we had a blast but let me tell you was it hard to find the right food choices when I had to eat out for Every. Single. Meal!

I think I had about 7 Cobb Salads. LOL! I wasn't sure what to eat because I didn't have any nutritional info on the fly but what I did know was that almost every restaurant has salad and that it would be a safe choice if I chose bleu cheese or ranch dressing. Of course I went on a bleu cheese dressing kick and never experimented with ranch.

The only place I had no idea what to order was at the Olive Garden. I absolutely hate the Olive Garden but I know my friend likes it as they don't have them in England. :) I looked over the menu which didn't have any salads whatsoever on the menu except the gross one they mix up in the bowl for you. So I got on my phone to see if I could see the nutrition info on their website and the dish with the least amount of carbs was the herb grilled salmon with broccoli on the side. I had no idea what they meant by "herb seasoning" so I asked the waitress if they could just cook it with salt and pepper instead of the herbs that they normally cook it with. They were totally cool with that and my salmon tasted okay but nothing spectacular. Then again it was OG, nothing is good there. LOL! I hated the broccoli, it wasn't cooked well and was just blah so I didn't eat that.

The first 2 days of vacation were fine, I didn't gain a single ounce but for some reason on Day 3 my weight creeped up just a little bit but yet I hadn't eaten anything bad. I wasn't too worried as it could have been anything. The last 2 days the weight seemed to keep creeping up again and yesterday I weighed in at 183.2. UGH! That means I was supposed to do a steak day but yeah that wasn't going to happen when I was stuck in an airport all day. Well thank goodness my weight came back down to 182.2 so it all worked out for the best anyway.

Do you know how nice it feels to go on vacation and to eat out for every single meal and yet I didn't really gain any weight or do any damage? I think tomorrow my weight will be up just because I feel a fatter today but who knows we will see what happens. It doesn't matter though, I know I am in control of what I am eating and wow is that the best feeling in the whole world. For once I finally feel like that no matter what happens on the scale on a daily basis for once I have more control over my weight than I ever have.

Vacation was so much fun and I miss sunny California but as always it is good to be home. :)

made it into the 170's & new progress pics

2011-03-27T23:59:00.000-05:00

Wow I was having such a horrible day yesterday after seeing a .6 pound gain. Today is way better because I stepped on the scale and saw 179.4!!! I am really hoping to see this number more often during my 10 week break as I am allowed to go down to 178.6 and it was great seeing that number today!

I also updated my progress pictures since I did see the 170's and I am shocked at the difference 9 pounds made this round. Even though I didn't lose much weight this time it felt like I lost more inches which is why I was so frustrated with the scale. I felt skinny yet it never showed up when I would weigh in the morning.

Tomorrow morning I am so excited to have some eggs that I can barely control myself. LOL! I am also going to experiment and try and make some different flavored mayo to use as dressings or dipping sauces. I am also going to see if I can make roasted garlic!

I am very excited to experiment with food this time around and just to finally have a nice long break. I have accomplished so much in the last few months and I can't wait to enjoy it hopefully stress free. :)

Round 3 has come to a close

2011-03-26T20:48:00.000-05:00

To say that I am frustrated this week would be an understatement. I only lost 1.6 pounds this week which I will gladly take but not when I am working so damn hard to get there. Of course there are ups and downs with this journey but why does it have to happen now? I am so irritated with this weeks results but I did everything I could so I have to be happy with that I guess.

So for the next 10 weeks I will maintain my weight around 180.6 since that is what I weighed yesterday. No idea why I gained .6 pounds today and because of that I decided that yesterday would be my last injection instead of today. The good news....I get to finally eat awesome food on Monday!!

I will probably do egg whites in the morning, and a taco salad for lunch. For dinner I thought about doing sausage, onions and peppers but that may be stretching it for the first day and I will probably end up eating a good ol' hamburger or turkey burger! Yum!

The other day I went and bought food so that I would have lots of yummy choices but of course I went overboard and bought like 800 pounds of cheese. LMAO! Cheese is by far my most favorite thing in the world and at some point I am going to have to control myself around it but eh, I will worry about that later. For right now I am excited to be moving on to the next phase as well as a 10 week break.

I think my body is just tired. I have had great success so far but at some point I have to slow down and realize that this isn't a race. I am 100% sure I will get to my goal weight and because of that I can finally relax my mind and not worry about dieting on a day to day basis. I love the feeling of being in control but I will admit that I am a little bit nervous about maintaining my weight easily because of the super short break that I took between rounds 2 and 3. Needless to say I will not be doing short breaks ever again. LOL!!

Next week I am leaving to visit a friend in California and I can't wait!! I know a few of the places we are going (In-N-Out and Olive Garden) and I already know what I am going to order. I personally do not like OG at all but she really wants to go and she doesn't have them where she lives so we are going! They have a salmon dish that looks great and I plan on asking if they can cook it with just salt and pepper instead of the normal seasoning they use. I have no idea if they use sugar or not and I don't want to risk it. At INO I will order the protein burger with extra veggies. Yum!

Anyway, I am mad I didn't get into the 170's but I am more than excited to take a much needed break.

115 pounds lost for good

2011-03-22T10:32:00.000-05:00

The scale finally started moving again and today I weighed in at 181.6 which means I am down a total of 115 pounds!!!! Wow I can't believe how far I have come!! It feels like yesterday that I was 296 pounds thinking there was no way I was ever going to lose the weight and feel really really good about myself. I mean deep down I knew I would eventually do it but when everyone around you begins to assume that you won't do it this time because you haven't done it the 30 other times, you start believing it yourself. Ha! I showed them! LOL!!

I am anxious to get this round over and done with. It has been the slowest round yet as well as the worst results. I am hoping I end up losing at least .5 pounds per day because that would be depressing to do all of this work only to end up below average.

I do have some good news though, I talked to my RE (reproductive endocrinologist) about when I will be able to do IVF after having lost so much weight and he said I could jump in right away if I wanted! I was so panicked that I wasn't going to get this weight off in time to cycle in December when I had originally planned. I was going to keep pushing this IVF cycle back because it is extremely important for me to get to my goal weight before I jump in and try this for the 3rd time. Infertility is hard enough to deal with but I have to know that I gave it my all and that I was at a normal BMI when going through this again. The success rates dramatically change at the lower BMI end of the scale so that is what I am shooting for. I was thinking I would have to wait a few months for my body to stabilize and my hormones settle down but looks like I am good to go whenever I want!

That means I don't have to hurry and try and lose these last 30-40 pounds. I am really going to try and get to 140 instead of my original goal of 150. I don't ever remember weighing 140 pounds so I am definitely excited about being in that range. I do remember dipping into the 150's at some point in my life, just not sure when it was. LOL! I can only imagine how good I will feel when I get to the 150's so the 140's sound even better. I won't be greedy though, if my body says stop at 150 then well I will stop. I am already a million times healthier than what I once was which is a big WIN in my book!

lane bryant breakup club

2011-03-20T13:37:00.000-05:00

Goodbye Lane Bryant, HELLO regular stores!!! (sorry for the blurry iPhone picture, I look like crap but I bought this new jacket and jeans that make me look kinda skinny LOL!)

I am officially joining the "I am breaking up with Lane Bryant" Club and I never ever ever want to shop there again. Okay well I will have to buy my bras there, damn my giant boobies!

I have never enjoyed shopping there nor have I ever enjoyed buying plus sized clothing. I have always had the smallest wardrobe ever but I never really cared. I hated everything about their clothes, everything from having to put on some dumb cami thing because it was so cheaply made that you could see through it yet so ridiculously expensive to the extremely low cut shirts. Just because I was a fatty doesn't mean I need to show my cleavage in every single outfit. I couldn't stand how everything seemed to go down to my knees. IDK, it was never my style of clothes and I just hated every minute of shopping there. Case in point view the first page of the bottoms section, nobody should ever wear things like THIS...

With all of that bitching about LB out of the way I have to say that I have an extreme love for shopping now! Seriously, this is going not good because I want to buy everything now yet I still have a ways to go as far as how much I have left to lose. My 14 size pants are a starting to get looser and before I know it it will be time to get more clothes yet definitely in a smaller size! I am having fun shopping at stores like Gap, Old Navy, J.Crew, etc. but they still don't cater to the size 14's of the world. If I was a 10 or a 12 it would be a different story and I could walk into any store out there and buy something off the rack. Until then I have been buying lots on the internet and then returning it to the stores if it is too or doesn't fit right. It is so hard to know what size I am because everything is changing so much and so fast. I don't really care though as it has been one of the best experiences of my life, walking into a store and knowing that in a few months I will wear whatever I want and love it.

I finally broke out of my stall and ended up losing 3.2 pounds for Week 3. Not bad but definitely not what I had hoped for. I ended up losing 2 pounds in 2 days and then today I weighed the same as yesterday. I only got in about 64oz of water though and I have no idea how people can get away with drinking so little yet still lose weight. I need to drink 96-128oz in order to keep my hydrated and the pounds falling off.

Only 6 more shots this round, 3 days of the low cal diet and then I am in heaven with Phase 3. I can't wait to be in Phase 3 and 4 this time and give myself a much needed break. During the 10 weeks that I am not on the HCG I am going to get back on my treadmill and start getting in shape! A friend of mine and I are thinking about doing the Couch to 5k program and since I started it last year I may as well try and finish it this year! I am excited to see what it feels like to walk on a treadmill again especially since I am about 60 pounds lighter than what I was when I bought it!

Now I know why my husband missed the Michaela with confidence...I have never been happier in my life than I am right now with confidence.

bloggers day of silence for Japan

2011-03-17T10:58:00.001-05:00

One of my awesome blog friends Maddy posted this and I thought it was a fantastic idea!!! So I’ll be participating in tomorrow’s Bloggers Day of Silence to raise money for Japan with all of the proceeds going to ShelterBox. Every little bit counts and we can truly make a difference in the lives of many so donate as much as you can even if it is only a couple of dollars. If you want to join me in this awesome cause, click here for more details.

The stuff going on in Japan right now is so awful. I am sadden by all those that have lost their lives, loved ones, and the loss of their lives as they once new it.

This devastation has hit home for me. My husband is a Nuclear Engineer at the same kind of nuclear plant that is in Japan. Luckily I am in the middle of the US where we have zero threat of a Tsunami or large earthquake but it is still a scary situation for all.

PLEASE JOIN ME and lets help out those in need!

Up Down Up Down

2011-03-16T20:23:00.002-05:00

I seriously better break this cycle tomorrow and the next day or I am going to scream!!! I know this is normal but dammit I am annoyed. LOL! My weight keeps going up down up down. UGH!

I stop my shots next Saturday and for my sanity I need to be as close to 175 as I can get but it is slipping through my fingers at the moment. I almost feel a little obsessed which is a new feeling for me.

I just want to be done with this process already!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

from morbidly obese to OVERWEIGHT!

2011-03-13T12:31:00.000-05:00

I finally reached a BMI that puts me in the OVERWEIGHT category! This is huge for me as I am no longer obese and when people look at me they won't think wow she needs to lose a lot of weight. I hope they will now say yeah she could stand to lose a few pounds. LOL!!! My BMI has gone from 47.9 to 29.8 and I have lost a total of 112 pounds so far!! WooHoo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It actually is really scary that I was in the morbidly obese category at one point in my life. I knew what that meant and I think I was in denial for most of it. I didn't want to believe that I was that heavy or that I was at risk for major health issues. My biggest fear was dropping dead from a heart attack or diabetes yet I was so scared to do anything about it. I can sit here and say that I wish I would have done this a long time ago but I the fact is is that I wasn't ready back then I guess. I have no idea what took me so long but looking at the amount of weight I had to lose was beyond overwhelming. I never thought I would be anywhere close to 184.6 pounds like I am today. That is only 20 pounds heavier than what I was in high school (with less muscle mass of course).

The mental aspect of losing weight is by far the toughest thing to conquer. The one thing I have learned is to never give up. No matter how much you have to lose don't ever decide that you are just going to be fat the rest of your life. Sure I quit losing weight for months or even years at a time but it never left my mind that I needed to do something about it. I don't know how many do over weeks I have had in my past but you know what it doesn't matter, as long as I kept going I knew there would be an end to this weight loss journey one day.

I can finally see an end in sight and I am more than determined to get there. I can feel myself getting happier and more confident each day. I feel like a brand new person but yet the same old me that was always here. There is no arguing that my weight kept me from doing lots of things in life but that part of my life is over and done with. Time to move on to bigger and better things, and yeah that better include a baby or babies in the near future!

forgetful

2011-03-09T16:40:00.000-06:00

I can't believe I forgot to weigh-in today! I have been weighing myself every single day for the last 6 months yet it totally slipped my mind today. I woke up and did my normal routine but then I grabbed a bottle of water and sat down to check my email. By the time I realized I hadn't weighed myself I had already drank about 16oz of water. That was over a period of about an hour but when I did go weigh myself I was 187.4 which is what I was yesterday. So it looks like I lost weight but I won't know the real number until tomorrow morning.

I also skipped a dose today to make sure everything was right on track since I had such a hard time during my last round and yup everything is going great there. Still no hunger and I feel pretty good.

Since I found out about my elevated liver enzymes I am kind of in a panic about it but getting calmer. I think it just threw me for a loop that I was perfectly healthy before and now this has come up. I was hoping to walk in and out of there with better news than what I got but oh well I am sure it will all be fine in the end. I did a little research and I ordered a supplement to do a liver detox to rid my liver of the fatty stuff and toxins. No idea if it will work but I know it won't hurt anything. I will let you all know how I feel!

I decided to take a 6-8 week break after this round ends on March 26th or 27th because that means I get to load with birthday cake when my husband turns 30 and I am 31!! I can't wait and I am kind of looking forward to the break. I want to make sure I give my liver the break it needs.

News reports on HCG

2011-03-08T19:35:00.002-06:00

I just heard that ABC (click here to watch the video) just did a report on the HCG saying it was unsafe, mentioned blood clots, PE's, etc and went so far as saying by going on the HCG diet I am basically playing Russian roulette with my life. Nice. It makes me so angry to hear that they are saying things like this as there isn't a study to back that up. The media has taken this and blown it so out of proportion that it is just ridiculous. The HCG diet is the only thing that has worked for me in the last 12 years so as far as I am concerned the media can shove it.

Last year Dr. Oz had said that the HCG diet would ruin our metabolism forever and that it was not a good diet. Recently (watch a 5 part video serious here) he did another show about it and funny enough he changed his mind! He obviously had done the research this time because even he said he would give it a try. Amazingly even his wife had taken HCG and he didn't even know it! LOL! He did say that he didn't think we should be doing the 500 calories and should do 1200 instead. Um that is called a regular diet. LOL! He also suggested that it be done under a doctor's supervision and that I somewhat agree with. I always think it is good to check with your doctor regarding your health before starting any diet to make sure everything is okay. Heck you never know what could pop up. But I also don't agree with saying that it has to be done under a doctor only because the doctor I first went to was an absolute quack! Now he could have done harm to me because he had no idea what he was doing! I ended up taking things in my own hands and everything ended up just fine.

I understand why people are freaking out about this but my one suggestion is to read and do the research for yourself. The studies that said it didn't make a difference whether you took the HCG or not just don't make sense to me. There has to be something weird going on because I know what it is like to be starving on 500 calories and what it is like to feel no hunger whatsoever once my dose is right.

Anyway, just had to vent a little because this stuff drives me nuts. Sorry people but being 296.6 is wayyyyy worse than doing something about being morbidly obese. How can they say this is unsafe when there are thousands of people around the world willing to cut their stomachs open and shrink them to the size of their thumbs? The HCG diet is no worse than that and I can only imagine the risk factors that come along with something like surgery, ya know like blood clots, PE's, and other surgery related issues.

Yup the media can shove it. I look and feel damn good! Oh and I lost another pound. Haha!

*I wanted to add that I am not against surgery for WL, I am all for people doing whatever it is they need to do to get to a healthy weight without harming themselves in the process. One diet may work for someone but not another, dieting definitely isn't a one size fits all thing.

the 180's and new progress pics!

2011-03-07T18:46:00.001-06:00

I did it! I made into the 180's and I seriously couldn't be happier than I am right now! I am just shocked that I am actually in the 180's wearing a size 14. I can only imagine how I will feel when I get into the 140's or 150's! LOL!

Today has been great. Not only was it an awesome weigh in day but it was also an awesome day at the doctors! Well sort of. I didn't have an appointment scheduled but for some reason the fact that I could feel my heart beat in my stomach was really bothering me and I wanted to make sure all was okay. I also wanted to ask about my gall bladder and see if there was any other testing that I needed to have done. And while I was there I may as well have some blood work done right? Well that was a mistake. I didn't realize that while on this diet my blood levels can be out of whack because my body is release the fat stores in my body to be burned. If I had known about this I never would have gone today and would have waited to see what my results were after I was at my goal weight and stable.

My cholesterol came back great at 168, although that damn HDL of mine still isn't high enough at 37. I will have to work on that one.

My glucose came back at 80 which is stellar.

My blood pressure was 100/60 which is great for me considering the whole white coat syndrome I have going on. If someone pulls out a blood pressure cuff I immediately clam up and feel a huge adrenaline rush. I hate it and try to control it but it just doesn't work sometimes. It is weird because I have never even had a high blood pressure so I am not sure what my deal is. Oh well.

Best of all my triglycerides in December of 2008 were 219 but today they came all the way down to 79! Yup I'm a rock star!

However, for some reason my liver enzymes are elevated which I am assuming is from the rapid weight loss and my liver working extra hard to process the fat the the HCG is releasing into my system. The other possibility is that my gallbladder is not doing so hot which would explain some of the pains I have been having for about a year now. I don't think they can do anything with my gallbladder until I were to have an attack but I did talk to him about it today. I am hoping once I am off the diet everything will return to normal and I won't have to worry about any of this. The doc didn't seem to concerned so I guess I shouldn't be.

So today was a fantastic day. I can't believe I weighed in at 188.4 and I am even more excited to get into the 170's!! It is all downhill from here!

I updated my progress pictures and for some reason it just hit me today at how much weight I have actually lost! There is a 90 pound difference between the first picture and the last picture and I just had no idea how much it really was. I had to get some new duds to pose in because the other ones just weren't cutting it anymore. I am floored with how well I am doing and I really am proud of myself!

i went shopping!

2011-03-06T21:06:00.000-06:00

It was so much fun shopping for clothes that I went online and bought more!! You can click on the picture to enlarge :):):)

week 1 and size 14 shorts

2011-03-05T20:42:00.000-06:00

I am a little disappointed in my week 1 results but hey I will take 3.2 pounds any day of the week! Of course I wanted more but considering the weight gain from loading and just being that much closer to my goal weight I don't think it is too bad! I am really hoping I get into the 170's at the end of this round but we will see. I only have 21 days left! Eeeeeep!

In other news, I went to Old Navy and bought a few things for my upcoming trip and well to just fill my non-existent wardrobe. Get this....I bought a pair of size 14 shorts!!!!!!! Holy shit maybe I will be able to tell Lane Bryant to eff off and that I never want to see her ever again! I couldn't even believe my eyes when I put the 16's on and they were too big! I should say that the 14's don't look fantastic on me just yet but I bet they will by the end of the month! I wish they would feature everything that is in their stores on their website so I could post some pics but I can't find a picture of the shorts or any of the shirts I bought! Grrrrrrrr!

The last few days have been crazy and I am exhausted. I have a feeling I won't lose weight tomorrow because I have lost 2.6 pounds in the last 2 days. Very excited about the loss but that usually means my body will play catchup and I won't lose one of those days. I have also been under a lot of stress lately. We had to take one of our dogs in to the emergency vet last night at 11:30pm. The only problem, the emergency vet is an hour away so we didn't get home until 2am. Couple that with a dog that is in pain from his surgery last week, has an infection in 3 out of 6 incisions, and can't sleep...this dog mom is exhausted. I feel like I am taking care of a child because I get up with him in the night and try and comfort him or get him in a comfortable position. I also check to make sure everything is okay with his incisions and I end up just worrying sick which also keeps me up at night. I know he will be okay sooner or later but I hate even dealing with this. Poor little guy!

I am hoping I have a stellar week 2 and can't wait to see what I look like in the 180's!! I am only 1 pound away and I have been itching to take new progress pictures.

finally in the negative numbers

2011-03-03T12:47:00.000-06:00

I honestly didn't not expect to lose the weight I had gained loading this slowly! It has been 6 days since I gained that weight but it is finally gone and I am now officially down .6 pounds! Not a ton of weight but it should all be down hill from here!

The best part about this round is that I finally don't have any hunger issues and it seems to be super easy. Well I guess I should say easier than it was last round. I hated feeling hunger and wanting to give up but I also knew something was off with that round. This feels like the first round and if I wasn't leaving on vacation March 31st I would just do a long round instead of cycling. Oh well, I am sure after 30 days of doing this I will be ready for a break.

I have a new favorite meal of ground chicken breast with Frank's Hot Sauce over a bed of lettuce. OMG it is so good and I could eat it every meal but I really am trying to mix it up at lunch and dinner. I also bought some cabbage to try in a soup and I bought an eye of round hunk of beef to make soups and stuff with too! The days of eating a hamburger with mustard and nothing else are over. LOL!

Oh and why have I never tried Pellegrino sparkling water until now?! Holy cow is this stuff awesome! I put a little lemon juice and a few drops of Stevia in the bottle and it is the most refreshing thing ever!! I can't wait to get some at Costco this weekend since it is on sale! WooHoo!

Other than that not much is going on. My husband as the day off tomorrow which will be nice as he will start working 12 hours shifts starting Monday night. He will work 4 days then get 1 day off and keep rotating like that until the beginning of May. I hate it when they have schedules like that but I guess that is what happens in the nuclear power industry. I am sure we will like the extra money and it is only for 2 months so it won't be so bad.

i wanted to give up

2011-02-28T21:04:00.000-06:00

Yesterday and today were by far the hardest days I have had during this process and I hope it was my last.

I weighed in at 200.2. :( It was so depressing stepping off the scale in utter shock that I had climbed back into the 200's. A number that I said I would never reach again and yet there it was. I walked out of the room in total disgust and disbelief. I figured it would happen since I ate quite a bit of food but I was hoping that for once I would get a break and not have to see the 200's. I guess not.

It was my Grandpa's 85th birthday on Thursday so we all met up at a restaurant for brunch. I was irritated from the get go because there I sat starring at everyone while they ate eggs, sausage, bacon, waffles, cinnamon rolls, cheesy/creamy hashbrowns, etc. I sat and drank my water and basically threw a shit fit in my head. LOL! Then we went to my brother's house where they had the most divine looking cake I have ever seen. Again I sat and watched everyone enjoy this delicious treat and drank my water.

Today a group of my friends were talking about the swimsuits they were going to be getting this summer and I mentioned that I hadn't worn one in 13 years. THIRTEEN YEARS! I haven't cried or felt sorry for myself in at least a year and today I sat there sobbing because I couldn't believe I had wasted parts of the last 13 years of my life being fat. I have missed out on so much and it really hit me today.

There is one good thing to come out of the last 2 days, it made me realize that there is no way I am quitting this just so I can wait another couple of weeks only to start again. I have to get this weight off and I will be so happy when I look back at it all and say that I did it. I lost this weight. I may not be able to change the past but I can change the future and that is what today and tomorrow are all about.

1st day back is going well

2011-02-26T13:44:00.000-06:00

After loading for 2 days and eating what I thought would be good food, I realized that I no longer have the connection that eating makes me happy. The last 2 days have given me zero satisfaction like I thought they would. I ate a million girl scout cookies, pizza, pasta, chinese food, more chinese food, and did I mention pizza?! LOL!

The first day I gained 2.4 pounds and my weight was up to 198.0. When I saw that number it seriously depressed me like you wouldn't believe. I had only eaten chinese food for dinner the night before and I didn't even eat all of it! I was shocked I had gained so much.

Yesterday was my true loading day and I think my blood sugar spiked to 8,654 for the day after all of the cookies I ate. :) I guess I will say that I did enjoy the first couple of cookies but now that i look back on it, they really weren't what I had dreamed about. That is what has been the most interesting during this whole process, nothing seems to be as good as what I had been waiting so long for. Am I just over my emotional issues with eating or maybe I had built up these 2 days too much and it didn't meet my expectations at all. IDK either way, it was not nearly enjoyable as I had hoped.

Today I didn't even weigh-in. I didn't want to know my number nor does that number really matter. I don't count the weight I gain while loading anyway and I knew that since I was 198 the day before that I would most likely see the 200's again today. That is a number I never wanted to see again and I think it would have really hurt me.

There is a ticker again on the right hand side of the blog where I will keep track of the number of pounds I lose this time but it won't start moving until I am under 194.0. I am really hoping to lose 20 pounds or weigh anywhere from 170-175. Now that is what excites me these days!!

So today was the first day of the VLCD. I had spinach and ground beef in low sodium chicken broth for lunch and will most likely have some chicken for dinner. This round I am really going to try and mix it up a little instead of eating a hamburger for 3 weeks straight. LOL! I am also going to try and cook with less PAM and see if my weight will drop faster. I usually don't have any problems but we will see how this goes. My biggest change is that I will try and eat more vegetables. I barely ate any veggies last time and there is no reason to do that this time. Hopefully these changes will help me this round and I am excited to see where this takes me!

and the weight loss begins AGAIN!

2011-02-23T20:51:00.000-06:00

I can't believe the time is here already!! I am starting the shots again tomorrow but I will not eat tons of food tomorrow since it was a shorter break than normal. Well I am hoping I don't eat tons of food tomorrow! LOL!

On Friday I plan on going to Qdoba to have a yummy burrito or even just a salad. Either way I have been craving some good Mexican fast food! Then for dinner we will be going to our favorite Chinese restaurant which I am absolutely thrilled about. Like you have no idea how much I love this restaurant and I can't wait!

I am sure I will gain a few pounds from carbs and sodium like I did last time but I am hoping to make better choices than I did the last time I loaded but we will see. I am hoping I don't eat a ton of the girl scout cookies we will be picking up! :)

Either way I am very nervous yet very excited to start losing weight again. I have my shots all ready to go and I am hoping I don't have the same issues as I did with the last round. I have the HCG from the US as well as the IM shots and I am praying that I will go back to feeling like I did the first round. I have no idea what I will do if I am hungry again, most likely go back to the doctor that I went to the first round and just do my own diet but use his HCG. We'll see!

Pretty soon I will be in the 180's and I will get to take more progress pictures!! Woot Woot!

a surprise 1.2lb loss

2011-02-22T12:14:00.000-06:00

Yesterday morning I woke up and the scale had gone up again! I had no idea what was going on but then again I haven't really been eating the best diet. On Sunday I literally ate egg salad all freaking day, eight eggs worth to be exact. LOL! I have no idea why I get on these kicks but if I love something I have no issues eating eat all day that's for sure.

The only problem with my "egg and homemade mayo" day was that it really wasn't enough calories for me. I honestly have no idea how many calories I am eating but when I woke up yesterday morning I was pretty hungry and was dreading not eating much because I knew we were going out for Fajitas that night. I decided to have 2 more hard boiled eggs with again more mayo for breakfast and then had an orange for a snack while we were out shopping. By the afternoon I was still pretty hungry and we had picked up a large container of mixed nuts at Costco so I busted into those to snack on.

We then went to my favorite Mexican restaurant for the best fajitas in the world and that is where I downed an entire skillet of them! I have no idea why but I was seriously so hungry even though I had taken a Phentermine that morning to make sure I wasn't. I wasn't going to deny myself food when I was clearly hungry and I just thought I would have to suffer the consequences this morning when it came time to step on the scale. Then during the drive home I ate some SF chocolate covered almonds because for no other reason than they sounded good. LOL!

To prepare for today and the assumption that I was going to gain weight and go over my 2 pound limit we bought some prime Ribeye steaks at Costco. Today was going to be my first real need for a steak day and I was ready for it. That is of course until I stepped on the scale this morning and it read 194.8. WAIT, what? 194.8? There is no way, how could I have lost 1.2 pounds yet ate all that food yesterday and ate a restaurant? I was seriously absolutely shocked!

Not sure if I will end up eating some of the steak or if my husband will want to freeze them and save them for a rainy day but wow am I glad I didn't end up needing that steak day after all!!

why haven't I ever shredded my own cheese?

2011-02-19T14:00:00.000-06:00

Okay seriously yesterday was by far the worst day of Phase 3 for me. Why? Because I discovered what real shredded cheese is!!!! OMG why haven't I ever shredded my own block of cheese until yesterday? It is like heaven!!!!

The shredded cheese that comes in bags has starch all over it and since we aren't allowed that stuff and I am a cheese whore I figured I would try grating my own. There was no way I was going to sit and do this by hand but that is when I remembered my good friend Ina Garten. Okay we aren't really friends but I consider Ms. Barefoot Contessa to be the greatest thing on this planet and she always uses her Cuisinart food processor to grate cheese. I dug in our cupboards to get this ginormous piece of kitchen equipment out and after struggling trying to figure out how to work the damn thing I began shredding little strings of heaven.

I put in one block and within seconds it was done, so I put in another and another and another until 2 pounds of cheese was fully shredded and ready for my taco salad that I planned on having for dinner. I was so amazed at how fast it went and how easy it all was that I will never buy shredded cheese again. Something about the taste of this fresh shredded cheese was soooo much better than the crap I usually get in the bags. It really shocked the shit out of me but what was even more shocked was how much effing cheese I ended up scarfing down!!! Seriously I am never shredding cheese without supervision. LOL!!

So needless to say my weight is up today, by alot. This morning at 7:30 I weighed in at 197.0! Shit! But I knew I hadn't pooped in 2 days so I after jumping up and down to wiggle a poo out I stepped on the scale again and it said 196.2. Shit! Still over the 2 pound limit. I decided to go back to bed and wake up late and just do a steak day. I did one of those last round only because I had gained over 2 pounds at Christmas time and thought that is what I should even though I wasn't 2 pounds over my limit. It was the worst day on earth, by 4pm I was ready to eat my arm off and probably could have eaten a steak like the dude on Man vs. Food does.

Well I woke up around 10:30 weighed myself again and I was down to 195.6 which of course is within my 2 pound limit and there is no need to do a steak day!!! HOWEVER, I did learn my lesson and I am going to do a high protein day instead. So for lunch I had 2 protein shakes mixed with a little heavy cream and ice to make it more like a real shake. For a snack I will probably fix up a little chicken or maybe even boil and egg or two. There is always a scoop of almond butter which I am sure I will have. LOL! For dinner I will have a turkey burger or regular hamburger that is of decent size but no fruits or veggies. Will drink lots of water and hopefully I will be back down closer to my LIW than way above it.

This is actually what I absolutely love about this diet. Not only am I allowed to be human and eat to much cheese one day but I know how to fix it and the very next day I am back on track. These are the tools that I need to stay thin the rest of my life and I am so glad I found them.

I am freaking ROCKIN' this weight loss thing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

giving back

2011-02-17T18:13:00.000-06:00

Yesterday I got an email from a media company regarding the Pound for Pound Challenge that you always hear about on The Biggest Loser. I have no idea why I had never thought about doing this before but I am here to say that I am giving back to my community and pledged to lose 25 pounds!!

I am so excited to do this as I watch The Biggest Loser all the time and to be honest I am not that great in the charity department. I need to start doing more things like giving back to my community and helping others and this is a great first step for me!

If anybody wants to join me in losing weight and feeding the hungry people of America you need to click on the PFP picture in this post and pledge away! It feels so good knowing I am helping someone besides myself, that is what this world is all about right?

Oh and I wanted mention that I am not getting paid to do this, it really is coming from the bottom of my heart. :)

sugar free chocolate chips, oh how I love thee

2011-02-15T12:18:00.001-06:00

Okay my love for sugar free chocolate chips got a little out of hand yesterday! LOL! I ended up having way to many calories for the day and most if it was due to these little morsels of heaven. Honestly, I can't get enough of them especially with a spoonful of almond butter. Seriously, it is the greatest thing ever!

Last night was a blast! Kyle and I didn't really do anything but for once we actually ate dinner together! I did have a little brain fart when I suggested that I wanted a big juicy hamburger because it was definitely not the greatest food choice. I was so tired of having a 96/4 lean hamburger made on the stove so I went and bought 80/20 and DH grilled it. Funny enough, it ended up not being that greasy as it was grilled but it didn't taste any better than the 93/7 that I would normally have in P3.

I also wanted a salad with dressing but I didn't have time to make my own dressing so I went through all of the dressings at our small town grocery store only to realize that every single one had sugar listed in the ingredients. It was beyond frustrating to think that there seems to be sugar listed in everything but I really really wanted dressing on my salad. I ended up getting a Caesar dressing that had 0 carbs listed (all the others had 1 or more carbs per serving) but there was still sugar listed in the ingredients.

Even with my 1.8lb (eeeeek!) weight gain today, I will say it was one of the best nights I had had in a long time. Not because I ate bad food but because for once I finally enjoyed eating dinner with my husband and having the realization that a day of eating isn't what makes life enjoyable, it is how I chose to spend the day and how happy I am just being in the moment.

I am still not 2lbs above my LIW so I don't need to do anything but I will go back to eating good foods and probably lay off the sugar free chocolate chips, well for today anyway. LOL! I hope you all had a great Valentine's Day!!

Love.

2011-02-14T20:09:00.000-06:00

I don't think you can ever tell someone that you love them enough. To my seriously awesome husband...thank you for loving me, supporting me, and always being there for me. I love you more than anything. ♥

whoa my body didn't like all that food!

2011-02-10T16:30:00.000-06:00

Yesterday I went into panic mode. I stepped on the scale and it said 194.2! OMG did it really just say that I gained 3 pounds in one day?! UGH!

Not only was I panicked about the weight gain but I was freaking out thinking I could never eat cheese again! LOL! So yesterday I had a protein shake for breakfast, cheese for lunch (was out running errands), about 3 or 4 tablespoons of almond butter and about 2 tablespoons of sugar free chocolate chips for a snack, and then a double protein shake with about 1/4 cup of half and half for dinner. Oh and I drank a little more than 96oz of water. I think I ate about 1250-1300 calories yesterday which isn't bad.

Sure enough I am back down to 191.4 this morning! So no need to worry about never getting to eat cheese again, I just have to be a little more careful than I was the first day.

I think a few thing contributed to my gain yesterday. I didn't get in even 64oz of water that day yet my sodium intake was way up. I hadn't pooped in 2 days. I probably went over my calorie limit for the day. It was the first day with real food so no big surprise about the jump in weight but I was hoping it wasn't a sign of what's to come. I also knew I ate to much the first day because yesterday I wasn't really that hungry and never felt hunger until dinner time.

All in all Phase 3 is going great, really hoping I stay down towards 191 but we will see what happens. I am headed to my parents house for the weekend but I am not to worried about it. The only thing I am worried about is my scale not being calibrated the same as it is here. The scale that I normally weigh myself on will stay here because I want that to remain in the same exact spot. I do have another scale that is exactly like it but I have noticed that when I "tare" the scale it will go anywhere from 4.6-5.0. Not that big of a deal but still not what I am used to at home. I am sure I will do just fine.

I don't know when I will be able to post or if I will get to post so I hope you all have a great weekend and keep your motivation going!!

first day of Phase 3!

2011-02-08T21:45:00.000-06:00

Wow I had no idea how much I missed eating good food! I probably overdid it today but I guess you never know what will happen tomorrow when I weigh-in.

The day actually didn't go as I had planned because my brother called last night and wanted to know if i could watch my nephews while my SIL studied for a Pharm test. Of course I wanted to watch the little munchkins so I woke up and fixed a 7oz turkey burger with 1.5 slices of havarti cheese and 2 or 3 tablespoons of guacamole. I decided to add cheese as my new food even though I probably should have waited a few more days to add anything. I don't think I will be sensitive to it so we will see what happens. I will eat cheese as the main new food except for additional protein that wasn't allowed in P2. I FREAKING LOVE CHEESE!!!

I didn't plan the day very well though because I was hungry by 3pm! LOL! I had nothing to eat but I was glad they had a little Hebrew National hotdog there for me to eat!

For dinner I had this yummy sausage with gouda cheese mixed in. No idea what it is called as I threw away the packaging but I got it Costco.

Where I lacked today was water. I really really hope I don't gain because of water retention from the sodium because I was totally distracted all day by two little boys. LOL! It is so hard doing this diet thing when I am not in my own house with my own food. I wouldn't have eaten the hotdog here, I would have made a protein shake or had some almond butter. What is done is done though and I am ready for tomorrow.

The good news is that I am down to 191.2 which gives me a 2.8 pound buffer for the first day! I can't wait to see what tomorrow brings!

21.4lbs. lost & end of Round 2

2011-02-06T12:22:00.000-06:00

Well this round has come to an end as of yesterday. I am super bummed about it having to end but something isn't right with this round and I can no longer deal with the hunger. I have a feeling this is a rare thing to have happen but I don't think the brand of HCG that I used agrees with my body.

I could never get my dose right to where I had zero hunger like I did last round. I gave it my all for 34 days and I still lost an amazing amount of weight! I also reached some major milestones of losing over 100 pounds and finally getting to ONEDERLAND!!!

Honestly I am so proud of myself for sticking it out this long with as many issues as I had. I never wanted to feel weak or that I couldn't fight through and I never did. So starting Tuesday at 11am I will go into Phase 3 which is where I maintain my weight for 3 weeks but I get to add all sorts of yummy food! Turkey burgers, taco salad, cheese, eggs, and best of all....ALMOND BUTTER!

I seriously can't wait to move on but yet I am absolutely terrified. With the HCG diet you aren't supposed to feel hungry at all and if you do then it means you could be burning the normal fat in your body. By normal fat I mean the fat that even the skinniest of people have like on the bottom of our feet, under our eyes, etc. I don't look gaunt at all, my face looks fresh and my feet don't hurt so I am hoping everything is going to be okay. I know how to succeed in P3 and I plan on doing the same thing this time around but start off a little slower this time.

Tuesday I will start off by doubling my portions of protein and I will do that for a few days to see what happens with my weight. I need to stay either 2 pounds above or below 194 pounds in order to stay stabilized. Um and holy cow can you believe I got down to 194 pounds?! Such a great feeling!

Like I mentioned before I will be skipping Phase 4 of this cycle and will jump right in with the shots again. This time I am going to use a brand name of HCG that I am familiar with and also go back to the IM shots. Maybe my body didn't like the SQ shots or just didn't process it the right way, I really have no idea but I am very hopeful that this was just a fluke round and the next one will be better.

I can't wait to update you all during the next 3 weeks to let you know how I am doing. Just like I did last round I will update my weight on the daily weigh-in page if anybody is interested.

Thank you all for your support this round!! I only have 44 more pounds to go until goal and I am hoping to be there by the end of the summer at the latest!

Toughest day yet

2011-02-03T21:33:00.002-06:00

Yesterday was the hardest day I have had on this journey. All along I have struggled with hunger here and there and so I would adjust my dose here and there. I was seriously at my wits end and per the advice of a long time member on the forum I lowered my dose on Tuesday. Wrong move big time.

I woke up yesterday morning and my stomach was growling louder than I have ever heard. By 11:30 I was starving and ate lunch. At 1:00 I was hungry again and ate an apple. 3pm rolls around and again I am starving and realizing there is something really wrong and lowering my dose was the wrong move. Then again I started to wonder if I had a bad batch of HCG. I decided to wait it out and see what would happen but after a protein shake at 3:00, dinner at 5:30 and another apple at 7:30, I decided to mix a new batch of HCG to inject today. I also decided to use the last pregnancy test and squirt some of the current batch on there.

By the time the HCG reached the window it turned positive faster than I have ever seen. Even when I was pregnant the line didn't come up that fast LOL! So of course the batch I had been using was good and I realized that my dose of 125iu was wayyyyy to low.

I seriously took 3 showers yesterday just to get my mind off of the hunger. I have done this diet before and knew this wasn't right. I was so hungry that at 9pm I had another protein shake and even added a extra half scoop! Finally that was enough to satisfy me for the night.

I thought for sure I would gain weight today but luckily I lost .6 pounds. We will see how the next few days go but I am expecting a gain in the next day or so. I am okay with that as there was no way I could have survived yesterday without the extra calories. LOL!

Today was fantastic! I upped my dose to 150iu and so far so good. I have had lunch, apple, and dinner with no need for a second apple or protein shake. This diet is not easy and I knew there would be bumps in the road. I am proud I didn't just shove my face with lots of food, I did what I had to do and I am so happy I made that choice.

Can't wait to see what tomorrow brings!

In other news I am so excited to announce that my SIL and brother are pregnant with their 3rd baby!!!!! She is due September 4th with this little surprise and I can't wait!

I have lost 100 POUNDS!!!!

2011-02-01T11:07:00.000-06:00

I can't believe I have made it this far. I am beyond proud of myself for the hard work I have put in over the years and at one point I thought I was destined to be fat.

I feel so much better and much more healthy than I once was. When I was that fat I literally thought I was going to die any second. It scared the living crap out of me to the point where I feared that if I worked out I would drop over dead. I never did have high blood pressure, cholesterol, or have a scare with diabetes but what I did have was one unhealthy lifestyle.

Emotionally I am in a totally different world than when I was almost 300 pounds. I have a confidence about me that was only there when I was thin. The relationship with my husband is better than ever. My fear of dying is completely gone. Finally I am not holding myself back.

Physically there is absolutely no comparison from what it was like 100 pounds ago. I can walk alot further without becoming winded. I don't get pissed if I forget something downstairs when I am already upstairs just because that means I have to go up and down the stairs again. I sleep better and Kyle says I don't snore anymore. Crossing my legs is a breeze. I can't wait to fit into an airplane seat without having to select a window or an isle seat just so I can lean to one side and not bother the person next to me. Chores around the house don't sound as dreadful as they once did. Playing with my nephews is ALOT easier.

All in all I just feel better. I have never been so proud of myself before and I can honestly say I am happy. Not just a smile on my face kind of happy, deep down I am truly happy.

Just for fun I dug up some 300 pounder pics. :) I will post more current pictures once I get some from my mom and SIL!

and what I look like now!!!!!!!

week 4 results, shopping and compliments

2011-01-31T09:52:00.001-06:00

I feel like I have been so busy lately but I am not really that busy! LOL!! First to the good stuff. This week I lost a total of 4.6 pounds which feels great! Funny enough it actually felt like way less because I seem to lose big one day and then hold steady the other days. So weird. I also looked at my results from last round and in round 1 week 3 I lost 3.2 pounds; this round week 3 I lost 3.0 pounds. In round 1 week 4 I lost 4.4 pounds and this round I lost 4.6! LOL! I lost exactly the same amount of weight in a 2 week period this time as I did last time. I am still behind the game but I am hoping with the extra 2 weeks I will catch up and lose 30 pounds. May be a lofty goal but we will see. The closer I am to 185 the better. That leaves me 22 days to lose 12 pounds or .54 pounds per day. We will see what happens I guess.

In other news my SIL and Brother had my niece baptized this weekend and I was in a panic trying to figure out what to wear to church and to the lunch afterward. I asked my mom if it would be okay to wear jeans and a sweater since that is really the only nice thing I have to wear and she pretty much just stared at me. Okay so that means no and I need to find something dressy to wear ASAP. My other SIL told me that they were having a sale at Kohls for 50% of dressy stuff so we decided to run there first. I didn't want to spend alot of money because well it won't fit me in a few months anyway. We get to Kohl's and I immediately clam up. I seriously walked around and didn't know where to start. No idea what I should wear, what size I would be, what would look good on me, and I literally walked out of the store without picking up one thing on the rack.

I have never felt so overwhelmed shopping before and I for the first time I felt like I wasn't meant to be skinny. I have never been in to fashion because I went to a Catholic school from grade school to high school and I freaking loved my uniform. We never had to pick out what to wear we just wore it. Then in college I ballooned in weight and literally wore sweats everywhere I went. If there was a party I either didn't go or wore jeans and some a shirt but never once did I get dressed up. Pretty sure this was the main reason I dropped out of my sorority. There were too many functions and I had no idea what to wear.

Kyle was with me and calmed me down a bit but I just felt so much pressure to look good because 20 minutes before that I was standing in front of my mom with tears in her eyes because she couldn't believe how much I had changed since Christmas. She made me stand up in front of my SIL's to show them how good I looked and I HATED having that spot light on me. You would think the compliments felt good but it was the total opposite. I am so used to being the fat girl that just stayed in the background, look decent but never good enough to get a compliment from anybody but my husband. I always get compliments about my hair but nothing else and it was so weird having people stare at me but yet it was supposed to be a good thing. I am really going to have to get used to the compliment thing because you don't just lose 100 pounds and expect people not to say anything. LOL!

I ended up finding two dresses at Old Navy and bought them both because I had no idea which one would look better. Kyle wasn't with me at that store as I needed space and time to think about what would look nice. Everything was 30% off so I bought the two dresses and another pair of workout pants and everything I bought was in an XL!!! I actually could go down a size if I didn't have such giant freaking boobs!!

I can't find one of the dresses online but here is what I ended up with!

And if you don't own a pair of these yoga pants, you need to go get some! I swear they are the most comfortable thing on this planet!! Oh and they make my butt look cute :)

I really hope I have a good week this week with no more gains or ZERO weight loss but we will see. Hoping for at least a 3 pound loss!

progress pictures updated!

2011-01-28T21:23:00.000-06:00

I can't believe I forgot to do progress pictures on Wednesday when I reached 199.4!! LOL! The good news is that I still weighed 199.4 yesterday so I took them then.

I am not sure I see much of a difference in the pictures this time around but I think it is because I need new progress pic clothes. These are getting quite big on me except in the boob area which then makes the shirt tight on my butt but everything else is very loose. So today I went out and bought an pair of Nike shorts in the regular women's section!! Of course they were XL but wow did it feel good to be in a normal store buying clothes. I think for the shirt I am just going to wear white t-shirts as those are alot cheaper to buy for every size that I go down. I believe my husband wears XL or L so hopefully one of his will work and everyone will be able to see all of my fat! LOL!

I was so disappointed not to see a difference but then again I am bloated in these pictures. Of course I got AF just in time to take some pics and overall I just feel very fat. No biggie, just a little bloating and I will feel back to normal in a few days.

In other news I have decided to switch things up a little with my plan. Typically you are supposed to wait 6 weeks between rounds 1 and 2 (I waited 8), then 8 weeks between 2 and 3, and then 12 weeks between 3 and 4. I know that it will be harder to lose weight the closer I am to goal but I honestly can't wait that long so I am going against the grain and doing a longer round this time. Instead of stopping my shots on Feb. 8th I am going to stop 2 weeks later on the 22nd. I am hoping that I will be able to lose that much more weight to where I only have to do 3 rounds instead of 4.

The other thing I am doing that is against the grain is that I am not going to be doing taking the breaks in between rounds. Since I am already sensitive to carbs there really is no reason for me to go into Phase 4 which is the phase where you introduce carbs back into your diet. So not only am I not going to wait that time between rounds I am not going to do Phase 4. I will do 40 days of shots/losing weight, then I will do 3 weeks of Phase 3 and then go right back into the shots again.

The reason I am doing this is because Phase 3 is the most important. This is the phase where my metabolism is resetting and I have to teach my body to maintain my weight. If I can't maintain my weight during those three weeks for some unknown reason I will continue with Phase 3 until I am stable. I don't want to screw up that part of it at all so I want to do it right.

Back in the day when this diet first came out they did not have the advanced methods with prescription drugs as we do now. They would run into immunity issues where their bodies would become immune to the HCG and you would all of the sudden be starving. They would stop the shots and take a long break to make sure the HCG was completely out of their systems. We don't see the kind of immunity issues as we do today but if I do run into that issue I will certain stop my plan and take the long break.

I am hoping to be at my goal weight of 150 pounds by the end of June. That is an average of 2.5 pounds lost per week and I don't think that is something crazy at all. I can't wait to get there!! I know I will have bumps along the way (trip to LA which I can't be on the diet) and a few other things but I am very prepared to handle all situations and outcomes of my choices. It is all about planning ahead and my calendar is full until July. :)

I'M IN ONEDERLAND!!!!!!!!

2011-01-26T10:32:00.000-06:00

OMG OMG OMG I DID IT!!!!!!

Holy shit I actually stepped on the scale and saw 199.4.

ONE hundred ninety nine point four pounds!!!!

week 3 results

2011-01-24T11:09:00.000-06:00

Not happy about it at all as I only lost 3 pounds for the week. I added in a protein shake in the morning last week and I am not going to be doing that this week to see what happens. I should probably start eating something other than beef but I really could care less to eat anything else. LOL! This time last round I had lost 17 pounds, this time...13.2. Not happy at all. Pissed is a better word.

my first gain in 3 weeks

2011-01-23T17:40:00.000-06:00

I knew it would happen sometime but did it seriously have to happen when I was so close to 199.8?!! Seriously annoying. I have a feeling I haven't been drinking enough water because I just felt heavier today and there really is no reason for me to gain weight other than water retention. My other thinking is that I have had ALOT of activity the last few days trying to get moved back into our newly finished living room and I could be just burning more calories than I need to right now. Oh well I am sure it will come off again but dammit, why now?!

Speaking of our living room...WE ARE FINALLY DONE! I am in love with it all and it has been so nice sitting in here the last 2 days. It makes me feel alot less anxious about life. I am the type that if the kitchen is a mess then I can't get anything done until it is cleaned up. LOL! No idea why but that is just me I guess. Anyway, here are the before and after shots of the living room!

tried something new

2011-01-19T09:56:00.000-06:00

This week I needed to do something different to lift my spirits up. I am still horribly jealous of people who get to eat regular food and I know I will get over it but I had to do something before I actually gave in to the cravings.

I have been losing nicely now that I am not stalled anymore but I had only lost .6 pounds the previous 2 days. So yesterday Kyle and I went shopping since he had the day off and I wanted to do something different. I decided to add in one chocolate protein shake by Jay Robb. I used to have these shakes all of the time in phase 3 and 4 and it got me thinking about the lack of protein in this diet and wanted to add more yet not have to add a ton of calories. So for 120 calories, 0 grams of fat and 25g of protein I had a delicious treat!! The result...a 1.4 pound loss today!!!! I am thrilled and can't wait to see what happens tomorrow.

We do get enough protein on this diet but I think some of the reason it is harder to lose weight in round 2 is because we are so used to the high protein meals we had in phase 3 and 4 whereas in round 1 we lost weight from all the crap we had been eating prior to dieting. When I was eating lots of protein my body never gained weight no matter how much I ate and I loved that part of it! Well I shouldn't say no matter how much I ate because I really mean no matter how much I ate within reason.

I am only 3.4 pounds away from 199.8 and there will be one big happy dance done when I get there. I won't reward myself with food or any other treat like that because it has never made sense to me to do that. Um isn't that why we are all overweight in the first place? We reward ourselves with food all of the time. Not going to happen in this household that's for sure.

week 2 results

2011-01-17T17:38:00.000-06:00

I lost 3.4 pounds this week which is great considering I stayed the same for 4 days straight. Then again it would have been nice to be closer to being in ONEderland. Oh well I will take it and am anxious to see how I do this week.

I am still struggling with hunger but I can't tell if it is extreme cravings or if it really is hunger. LOL! I am so mad that I can't eat this round and I am still not over it even after 15 days. I seriously just want to eat food and eat whenever I want. I know I don't have that much left but dang it, I hate being on a diet and I can't wait until I don't have to worry about this stuff anymore.

This week I am hoping to ditch my shitty attitude and get my dose right so that I am not even having to think about food. LOL!!!!

finally losing weight again

2011-01-16T20:21:00.001-06:00

This week has been tough mentally and physically. As side from the awesome 90 pounds lost, nothing else has been good.

I am having issues getting my dose adjusted so that I am no longer hunger and my vision doesn't fade to black after standing up to quickly. Interestingly, this happened to me last round and the culprit was too high of a dose. I started on my new lower dose yesterday and I already feel better. I no longer have my vision fading and my hunger is a little less than it was before.

The other shitty thing is that I went through a 4 day stall! My weight stayed at 206.4 from Wednesday until today when the scale finally told me I lost a pound. It was so frustrating not seeing the scale move but I am hoping it was only a one time thing and that I will see losses from here on out.

I am at my parents house this weekend and it has very hard resisting food. I am just really struggling with the idea that I don't get to eat good food and I still have 26 more days to go. Actually when I just typed that out it doesn't seem so bad but UGH I want to eat yummy food again and not have to worry about my weight. I am beyond anxious!!!

The good news is that I am excited to see where this round takes me and how much I will end up losing. There is always light at the end of the tunnel if you look for it.

90 pounds gone!!!

2011-01-12T19:46:00.000-06:00

I can't believe I did it! I have lost 90 pounds (ok i am really 3oz. short but eh) from my heaviest!! NINETY POUNDS! Soooooo happy!

Yesterday was my challenging day of all. I went to my brother and SIL's house to watch my 2 nephews who are 3.5 and 20 months. I also went to see my 1 week old niece who is absolutely adorable! Anyway, I was spending the night at their house so I picked the kids up from daycare and took them to a local fast food place. I normally would feed them healthy food but it was easier and they are super skinny kids. LOL!

It was so difficult cutting up the little ones food knowing I couldn't have a bite or even lick my fingers. They have snacks galore and for one minute I thought that it would be so bad to cheat. I was really hungry yesterday and I am not sure if it was because I skipped my shot yesterday or if was just a random day of hunger but it pushed me to my limits. I stayed strong and didn't cheat which felt great however, the 5 hours that I ran around with the kids was not good for my energy levels. I felt almost faint and sick and since I made my dinner at home before driving the 1 hour to their house I had nothing to eat for extra protein! I did find some Oscar Meyer cubes chicken breast in the fridge and ate some of that. I am not sure if it was my mind telling me that I didn't feel well or if the extra activity did me in. Either way I needed more protein as I didn't feel it was responsible of me to feel like passing out when watching my nephews. I wasn't happy that I felt the way I did nor having choose to eat off plan but those kids come first no matter what.

This morning I weighed in at 206.8 which was a loss of .6 pounds and put me .2 pounds away from losing 90 ponds! Next stop...ONEderland and a loss of ONE HUNDRED POUNDS!!! Huge milestones coming up and I can't wait to get there.

I can finally start to see the end of this weight loss journey and beginning the journey of living a healthy life.

week 1 results

2011-01-10T12:56:00.001-06:00

I weighed in this morning at 208.6 which means I lost 6.8 pounds!!! WooHoo!! Well I technically lost 14.4 pounds but I don't count those in the grand scheme of things. It is fun to think I lost 14.4 pounds in one week but it was obviously water weight and not a true loss.

I am thrilled and can't believe that in 8.8 pounds I will weigh less than 200 pounds!!!!!

My only worry is this is week 2 which is notorious for slow losses especially since I lost so much weight in week 1. I am NOT expecting to lose 8.8 pounds this week but I am hoping to lose that much in 2 weeks. :) If not it will be okay and the weight will come off eventually, it isn't like I can lose weight any faster than I already am. I will stick to the protocol and not worry about a thing, it will happen when my body is ready BUT I am just so excited to get to the 100's!! LOL!!

I was telling Kyle the other day that this round isn't so bad. I know what to expect and the food doesn't taste bad at all. I have been eating alot of tilapia, cod, chicken, and ground beef which helps to mix things up. I am not doing well on mixing up my veggies though. I pretty much only eat asparagus and salad. LOL! I was thinking about roasting some onion but not sure how good that would taste without a little bit of olive oil. I guess I will try it and if it doesn't work I can have asparagus or a salad.

My favorite part of the day is 3pm when I eat my beloved Fuji Apple! I am in love with apples and there is nothing better than a cold, crisp, sweet yet a little tart apple to satisfy me. I don't have horrible cravings this time around but I do miss being able to eat whenever I want. I crave more protein but I am pretty sure I can wait 33 days to have it. :) I am so excited to get back to P3 and P4 but really enjoying the weight loss.

After I typed out this post I realized that I have lost 88 pounds and only have 8.8 pounds to lose to be under 100! WooHoo! Better yet I only have 12.8 pounds to lose to reach a total of ONE HUNDRED POUNDS LOST!

new progress pictures!

2011-01-09T14:49:00.000-06:00

*no boob job, just got a new bra :)

Yup, check out the new progress pics by clicking on the picture to the left! I am sooooooo excited about all of this and even more excited that I am only 10 pounds away from weighing ONE hundred ninety nine pounds! HOLY SHIT!!! I never thought this day would come!

Funny story for ya. On Friday night I measured out 7oz of shrimp so that way I could have half of it for lunch on Saturday since I needed something quick as we were heading to go shopping for the afternoon. Right as the shrimp was done cooking my mom called to chat and I put all of the shrimp in a bowl sat down and chatted with her and ate my shrimp. The shrimp was great but mid-bite I remember OMG this is 7oz not 3.5oz and I just ate 12 of the 14 shrimp! I seriously spit out what was in my mouth and completely panicked. How could I have done this? I haven't cheated since 9.28.10 and I freaking just ate wayyyy more than I should have.

I emailed two friends of mine who is also doing the diet and told them and of course they laughed. Hahaha! It was then I realized that it was no big deal and honestly it was pretty funny after the fact. I was still in a panic thinking I had screwed everything up but I was able to stay the same exact weight from Friday to Saturday. Phew! I have no idea what I was thinking but I seriously thought I blew the entire diet and my progress so far. In a way I was hoping I would gain weight from it so that it would keep me in check. When I did WW, I was able to push so many limits...did you know that since I can't measure out 3 gulps of milk that meant it was 0 points, or that a pinky finger dipped in peanut butter is only like .5 a point. LOL! I would seriously cheat so bad and there was no way I wanted to know what cheating would do to me on this diet. Oh well, it wasn't really a cheat so I will leave it at that.

In other fun news we went to Kyle's company Christmas party last night and wow was it boring. LOL! He works for a pretty large company and usually they have door prizes and some sort of fun entertainment, last year was a hypnotist, and then a DJ to get your groove on afterward. This year because of budget cuts there were no door prizes and no entertainment but they kept the DJ. Well there was only about half the people there as there was last year and it was beyond boring. BORING.

I wasn't sure how I was going to handle the food situation since it is a sit down dinner but I knew they would have a salad there for me to eat. I cook Tilapia before we left and ate that on the way there and then when we got there I went through the buffet line just like everyone else but I grabbed a dinner plate and filled it with a mixed green salad. I was really worried about the comments but only one person said something. She turned to me and said wow you have way more discipline than I do. :)

Here is a pic of me when we got home...And of course a pic of the adorable new shoes I got shopping yesterday!

I FEEL AMAZING!!!

almost 85 pounds gone

2011-01-06T21:13:00.000-06:00

As I was updating my weight this morning I realized that I am only 1.2 pounds away from having lost 85 pounds!!! I am thrilled that it should happen in the next day or so and I am really starting to feel confident in my ability to lose this weight and keep it off.

What is even more amazing is that I found my highest recorded weight on an old Weight Watchers weigh-in card. It is so weird looking at that number and knowing that I really did weigh 296.6 pounds at one point. Blows my mind.

I also can't believe that in the next month or so I should be under 200 pounds and will have lost more than 100 pounds! I will also finally weigh less than my husband!! Huge milestones coming up and I can't wait!

So far the diet has been great! I have lost about 2.4 pounds so far if you don't count the loading weight that I lost. In the last 3 days I have lost 10.2 freaking pounds! Of course most of that was all water weight but hey I will take it! I was so worried my weight gain from eating all that food would take forever to get off but I guess not. LOL!!

I have two different tickers so that I can keep track of my weight loss with the HCG this round (7.6 pounds of loading weight included) and then my total weight loss! I also have my daily weigh-in page which doesn't included the 7.6lbs and is my true weight loss for the round. Confusing huh?! I just don't want to include that weight because it doesn't make sense yet I want to know how much I lost on the diet. If we all counted the weight that we have gained and then lost we would probably lose more than what we actually weigh. :)

I am so glad to see all my blog friends staying on track!!

5.2 pounds gone!

2011-01-04T22:16:00.000-06:00

The scale was good to me!! I lost 5.2 pounds from yesterday to today and now I need to lose 2.4 more pounds to be back to where I was before. Hopefully that will happen in the next few days!

I decided that I am not going to count my weight loss until I get below 215.4. That is what I weighed when I went into Phase 3 on 11.03.10 and funny enough that is exactly what I weighed on 12.31.10 when I started loading for this round.

I actually think most people count that weight but I don't really get why I should count weight lost that I gained on purpose. LOL! I also think it is misleading and that is one thing I won't be doing is misleading someone or myself for that matter.

The diet has gone really well the last 2 days. I have had a few small cravings but it was mostly for whatever my husband was eating because of course it looked better than mine. LOL! Yesterday I decided to cook 3 portions of Tilapia so that way I just had to warm up the fish and cook some veggies. The key to my success is good healthy food in a timely fashion....Fast Healthy Meals + Michaela = BFF's :)

I can't wait to see what the scale says tomorrow, I am hoping I lose that 2.4 pounds but if I don't no biggie, I know that if I follow the plan it will all come off no matter how much I gained in the first few days.

overboard

2011-01-03T21:54:00.000-06:00

So this morning I weighed in at 223.0. Yup you read that right, I gained 7.6 pounds in 3 freaking days!

I am obviously sensitive to carbs and not sure there is a body out there that wouldn't gain weight from all the crap I shoved in my mouth. I literally ate so much food I felt sick and it was not even worth it. I just kept thinking to myself that if I didn't eat it then I would have horrible cravings and the 43 days of this diet would be awful. Funny enough I didn't crave any of the things I ate for the 7 weeks I was off the diet so why would I think that I needed them?

When I say that I ate alot, I mean massive amounts of food. Pretty much disgusted with myself and won't be doing that again. I was so bloated and constipated and to top it off I should be starting my period any day now. Here is a little sample of my menu...Donuts, cheesecake, pizza, chinese food, chex mix, McDonald's breakfast, a huge dinner at a restaurant with appetizer, chips and guac, giant protein shake with heavy cream/half & half, chocolate milk, ...... okay I need to stop. LOL!

There is honestly no way I would do that again and even today I am not craving any of the stuff I ate. I am sure I will crave stuff along the way but seriously I felt miserable for 3 days straight.

Even after all of that food, I realized that food has nothing to do with my feelings. I don't need to eat to feel happy and happiness doesn't include food. It felt so good to be in control today and to be to eat a healthy clean diet. I am hoping the scale will be nice to me tomorrow and praying that I didn't do to much damage but we will see. The weight will come off with time.

This is one mistake that I learned from and that is what matters the most.

I am back & starting Round 2

2011-01-02T15:30:00.000-06:00

Hey everyone!!! I am back to blogging and I started my shots yesterday!!!

I ended up forgetting my scale when I went to my parents house but was happy to see that I had pretty much maintained my weight over the holidays!

I did decide to do three days of loading (eating all sorts of bad yummy food) and of course I have gained 3 pounds in 2 days. LOL! Oh well that is what loading is for.

Today is my last day of loading before the VLCD starts tomorrow. I am also going to change things up and getting rid of these really long, thick needles. I am currently doing IM shots but after I gave myself a bruise the size of a baseball yesterday, I am going to move to a shorter thinner needle and adjust my dose. I am hoping that works better because 1.5" needles in my thigh are not fun. At all. LOL!

I am nervous but excited to start this round. I weighed in this morning at 218.4 which isn't bad and I hope it doesn't go up much more tomorrow. I am sure I will lose it all but it sucks gaining weight when for 7 weeks I did so well.

I feel like absolute crap loading and I am not even really enjoying it. It feels so good knowing I could care less about eating this much food again.

HAPPY NEW YEAR everyone and I hope 2011 brings everyone the happiness they deserve!

Oh and Joy thank you so much for the award! I will post about it tomorrow!!

worst food day in 76 days

2010-12-12T10:17:00.000-06:00

UGH. I failed yesterday. Big time.

I went to my regularly scheduled Endocrinologist appointment on Wednesday and he was really happy with my weight loss. My biggest fear was telling a doctor that I had done this and then have them give me reasons why I shouldn't be doing this. Or even telling me that I am screwing up my body, something that would scare me to death but that wasn't the case at all.

He asked me if I knew there wasn't any studies on whether it was the the HCG that helped people lose weight or if it is the 500 calories. I said I did even though I wanted to explain that it IS the 500 calories, the HCG just keeps your body from failing from eating so little but I wasn't going to get into it with him. He said it was fine for me to stay on this diet as I am doing well and that was all I needed to hear. He was supporting me and I was going to run with it!

They did the standard blood work to check my Thyroid and my electrolytes and said I would hear from him in a week if I needed to change anything. Well I got a call from the nurse the next night at 6pm and my heart sank. I just kept thinking why would she call me when he said it would take a week to hear anything back? I panicked thinking something was really wrong with my Thyroid or my electrolytes and that the HCG diet had done some damage. Well my electrolytes were fine but my Thyroid is way off. My TSH came back at 0.02 which is the lowest I have ever been. Ever. The nurse told me to only take a half of a pill of Synthroid on Monday's and Friday's and instead of going back in 8-9 months for blood work I need to go back in 2 months. Grrrr!

I guess that would explain the increased heart palpitations but nothing that have been major or even something I thought I would mention to him. This puts me back in the Hyperthyroid mode and it just totally threw me for a loop thinking I was making myself healthier not throwing everything off. LOL! Anyway, it was a hard day.

Fast forward to Friday night when I started spotting which means AF was going to be here EARLY again and my weight had jumped earlier that morning to 214.0. Seriously it drives me crazy that my body is not working right now and my cravings were out of control. We are in the middle of the renovation with my Dad here helping insulate and hang drywall and the last thing I wanted to do was cook dinner. We ordered pizza and wings and I proceeded to eat 3 pieces of thin crust pepperoni pizza, 1 piece of pan crust meat lovers pizza, and 4 chicken wings with bleu cheese dressing. That of course was on top of the milk, protein shake, greek yogurt, a million almonds, taco meat with guacamole and cheese, and more mixed nuts. Yup, I shoved my face yesterday and now I am paying for it today.

I was in such a great spot not having had to do a steak day since the day I started this whole process and now I am doing my first one on Day 16 of Phase 4. I am 6 days short of never needing a steak day and I totally screwed it up. I guess it isn't bad and it isn't like I don't know why I need a steak day but dammit that was not supposed to happen to me. I was in control, I was feeling great and all of the sudden I lost all of that.

One good thing has come from this, I know what to do to get back on track and I am already doing it. One day isn't the rest of my life, it is the next day and the next and the next that make up my life and I am taking control right now. I am drinking lots of water and looking forward to an apple and big steak tonight! Yum Yum!

whoa it has been too long

2010-12-08T21:14:00.000-06:00

I seriously can't believe I haven't blogged since 11.29! Oops! Well I do have a little excuse, we are doing another renovation and I was so busy trying to get everything ready for an absolute disaster. LOL! I will never live in a house that we are completely renovating again! We are no living in our dining room while the living room gets a makeover.

We tore down the plaster and lathe, and my husband is currently putting in all new electrical stuff and new lighting! I can't wait to see what it turns out like when we are all finished and I don't have to live in this little dining room anymore. LOL!

So on to the good stuff! The diet has been going great and I am maintaining really well! Well actually I have had a few more ups and downs since starting phase 4 but I think that is just my body getting used to everything. Right now I am having trouble keeping the weight on which feels super strange but I am just rolling with the punches. No reason to stuff my face just to try and gain weight when I am eating what I think I should.

I haven't been adding in tons of carbs because of my PCOS and insulin resistance but I have enjoyed a few things like beans in my chili, bites of a Runza (Nebraska/Midwest thing for people that have no idea what that is), a few Fritos, and one of these days I am going to try whole wheat pasta with my favorite Butternut Squash Pasta Sauce. Oh and I have had bites of my husband's dinner which consisted of cheese tortellini!

One of my new favorite things, more like an obsession, is Greek Yogurt. OMG that stuff is so amazing and I can't get enough of it! I buy the Fage 0% and add some Truvia sweetner and it makes the best snack alive! I have also fallen in love with Almond butter but it is one of those things where I started getting really obsessed with it and ate too much. Almond butter along with sugar free chocolate chips are not allowed in my house at this time. LOL! I am not kidding when I say that I would eat a handful of those SF chocolate chips along with several spoonfuls of almond butter! It was the best treat that I have had in a long time but it is just a treat and until I can accept that, they can't be in the house. :)

Other than the renovations and staying on track I really don't have much news. I am definitely a changed person and I feel so happy with my progress. I never would have dreamed that I could actually succeed at losing weight yet be able to keep it off for more than 4 weeks!! For the last 72 days I have stayed on track and have yet to come here and say that I am starting over.

For once in my life I am proud of myself and MY accomplishments. I DID IT!!!

5 pounds under. oops

2010-11-29T20:21:00.000-06:00

Well the last few days have been very interesting. On Saturday I was able to start adding in a few carbs and start on Phase 4. During Phase 4 you get to go back to a more balanced diet but it has to happen slowly. Ideally I would add in the sweet fruits and the more starchy veggies but since I was at my parents and not really prepared I decided to start with some Chex Mix that had been staring me in the face for 4 days. LOL! I took a handful and that was all I had as far as carbs go. I also added in some ranch dressing on my salad at lunch which should be okay for P3 but I didn't want to risk it as there is sugar listed in the ingredients.

That night I felt extremely guilty and wasn't really sure how to deal with the idea of freedom. Freedom is what got me to 296.6 pounds and I about had a mental breakdown thinking that I would fail again. My worst fear right now is gaining this weight back and I will do everything in my power to maintain my weight and keep losing. I was panicked thinking I would gain weight the next day and I was so glad to see that I had actually lost .2 pounds from the day before!! What a huge relief!

So on Sunday we were getting ready to leave my parents and that is when I found my grandma's little chocolate covered peanut butter balls and I had to have one. It was so sweet but oh so delicious that I had another one that afternoon! LOL! I also had a handful of Chex Mix but that was it as far as carbs go.

That afternoon we were getting ready to leave and I started getting a migraine which now that I think about it was probably triggered by the extra carbs or the chocolate. I haven't had a migraine in awhile so I thought I could tough it out without taking any of my meds. Bad decision. Bad bad bad decision. By the time we were ready to leave I had a full blown migraine and I didn't really feel that well. My husband wanted to stop and grab something to eat and I knew I needed to eat dinner as it was going to be 9pm before we got home from the 2.5 hour drive. I ordered a plain cheeseburger and just took the bun off when I went to eat it. Well I took two bites and felt horrible.

About 30 minutes into the drive I become car sick and again thought to myself just tough it out. Stare straight ahead, put my feet flat on the floor and just breathed slowly to make the feeling go away. Um that didn't work. By this time I am in tears and my poor husband doesn't know what to do. He wasn't sure if he should pull over or if he should keep driving but he made the decision to turn around and just go back to my parents house. There is no way I could make the remaining car trip and I needed to just lay in bed. Of course I got sick at my parents and finally after my migraine meds and the Benadryl kicked in I was finally able to fall asleep. I skipped dinner and I was only able to get in 64oz of water in. Oops.

So this morning I woke up and weighed in at 210.4 which is 5 POUNDS under where I am supposed to be or 3 pounds under my minimum weight! So what does that mean? I have to eat today and get my weight back up to 213.4 or above. We decided to go to Pizza Hut for lunch and I had a huge salad with cottage cheese and then I had a small piece of pizza. Wow did that upset my stomach especially since I hadn't eaten anything since the 2 bites of hamburger but I feel better now! I was able to drink a double protein shake, some almond butter with sugar-free chocolate chips and 2 Hebrew National Hot Dogs!! I am hoping that was enough to get my weight back up especially when I am assuming alot of my weight loss was water weight. I will not be surprised to see a big jump in the scale tomorrow especially since I had carbs and fatty foods today.

We shall see but I will tell you it is the strangest feeling to have to try and gain a few pounds when all my life that was the worst thing that could ever happen. :)

my thanksgiving day success

2010-11-27T16:53:00.000-06:00

Thanksgiving in the past was a day where I couldn't wait to eat and it was an excuse to indulge in all of the horrible foods that "we only get to eat once a year." Well this year was a new me and a chance to make a choice about what the true meaning of a holiday like Thanksgiving means to me.

We went to my husband's grandmother's house and I had no idea what was going to be there but I did know WHO was going to be there...family. I couldn't wait to be the only one not stuffed to the max and wanting to take a nap later on. I couldn't wait to chat with family instead of thinking about how full I was. I couldn't wait to finally enjoy this day without wondering what the scale would say the next day.

I walked in there confident and I had a plan. I would eat as much turkey as I wanted to feel satisfied and I would eat anything else that would not be considered cheating and that is exactly what I did.

For lunch I made sure I grabbed lots of turkey both light and dark meat and then I had some red/yellow/orange peppers that were still sitting out from the snacking that started before lunch. Of course the only other thing that was even remotely healthy were some olives and raw broccoli so I chose to eat those as well. When I sat down to eat one of my DH's cousins said to me "is that all you are going to eat?" I wasn't sure how I was going to respond because I wasn't prepared for someone to question my plate when I thought it looked so full and yummy. I just replied "yes this is all I am going to eat right now but if I want more food I will definitely be enjoying more turkey." :)

So on Friday morning after a day of great food and fantastic company, I woke up to an almost 3 pound loss! Now I do have to say that I was slightly constipated from PMS/AF and well there is nothing like a good morning poop to help the scale go in your favor. LOL! No seriously though it felt great to know that I had succeeded on a day where I would have failed in the past.

I did have to eat more yesterday because I dropped down to 213.0 which is .4 pounds below my lower limit of trying to maintain and this morning I weighed in at 213.4. Not bad, exactly what I needed to do and I am still right on track to maintaining my weight.

I can't wait to conquer the next Thanksgiving as well as any more obstacles that come my way.

gained a pound LOL

2010-11-23T11:53:00.000-06:00

So yesterday was not a good no matter how much I tried to think about regretting my decisions but that didn't work out so well. I should have known that I was going to get my period soon but since my cycles had been so wacky the last few months I had no idea what was going to happen this month. The day we got to my parents house we went to bed around midnight and I woke up at 4:30 in the morning and was wide awake. Insomnia is horrible for me at that time of the month and I just thought it was a change in routine and the fact that it wasn't my comfy bed.

Yesterday was a complete disaster food wise, not enough to cheat but I did enough SEVERAL spoonfuls of almond butter followed by a bunch of sugar-free chocolate chips! LOL! I am not joking when I say that is some of the best stuff I have had in a really really long time. Pretty much heaven.

I also indulged in more food than normal and it was one of those days where nothing was keeping me satisfied. It was like I couldn't get enough food...thank goodness for bedtime huh?!

So I am up 1.2 pounds today. Not that big of a deal especially since I didn't even get in 96oz of water, I ate my face off, and I am retaining water from all the salt that I ate. Today I will go back to eating healthy and clean and I am sure I will be just fine. In all reality I don't even have to pay attention to the 1 pound gain but I want to be able to take control when I know I am out of control. To me that is my biggest battle and something I will conquer at the end of this journey.

i survived one thanksgiving

2010-11-21T21:48:00.000-06:00

I survived the first Thanksgiving dinner of the year and I have one more to go. We headed over to my uncle's house for my Dad's side of the family Thanksgiving and I had no idea what we were going to be having for food and was a little bit panicked about it all. I figured we would have turkey but wasn't sure about the sides and much to my surprise there wasn't a single side dish that I could eat. It made me sad that nobody else thought of a healthy option but I was so glad I was in Phase 3 and I was able to eat all the turkey I wanted! I grabbed a plate and put a decent portion of turkey on it and I was completely satisfied.

I wasn't sure if I would be tempted by the pumpkin or apple pie for dessert but funny enough it didn't appeal to me at all. I was shocked that I wasn't in a horrible mood about not being able to eat pie but there was no way I was cheating at this point in the game. It has been 56 days since I started this diet without any cheating and I just don't think it would be worth it.

We also had my SIL's baby shower the next day (today) and I have never received so many compliments in my life! It was so fun to be there and have at least a dozen comments on my weight loss and how I just looked so healthy. It totally made the "didn't get to eat pie" thing beyond worth it. If anyone is thinking about how horrible Thanksgiving will be without that pecan pie, mash potatoes, stuffing, and ice cream, just think twice about how you will feel 2 hours after you eat it. Ask yourself if it will be worth it and if it is then I say eat the pie, if not then just forget about it and wait until we are in more control of our food and know when enough is enough so we can have our cake and eat it too. :)

Not sure if anyone really looks at my daily weigh-ins but I am proud to say that I have only been above my last injection ONE time since I started P3!! I am sooo proud of myself and I can't wait to see how the rest of P3 goes as well as P4. I will say that I am a little worried to weigh-in tomorrow because I forgot to mention that I put ham on my plate. Ham shouldn't be a big deal until I realized that it was super sweet! I ate one piece and thought I tasted a sweetness to it so I took it over to my husband and asked him if he would eat it because I wasn't sure if it had sugar in it. He laughed and said "um did you miss the honey glazed ham" part? I laughed so hard, I can seriously be so dense sometimes. Sometimes the effects of what we eat take 2 or 3 days to see on the scale and I am hoping I did everything the right way this weekend. I didn't even have cake at the baby shower!!

Life is good.

pulled out the winter clothes from last year

2010-11-16T11:55:00.000-06:00

This past weekend was really weird for me. Friday night we went out to eat and I had Fajitas at our favorite Mexican restaurant and I was curious to see if I would gain weight or not. I really have no idea what they put in the seasoning and for all I know it could have sugar in it. I woke up the next morning and yup I gained weight. Dang it! Oh well no biggie I was still under 217.4 which is the max amount I can weigh.

Saturday morning I woke up and I started the day of well, I ate my regular eggs/egg white with cheese. For lunch I a bunless turkey burger but then it went downhill from there. For some reason I felt hungry yet I knew there was no way I was hungry. I seriously couldn't stop eating cheese and almond butter to save my life. I never did cheat and have any carbs but you know you go overboard when I pretty much ate a block of cheese by myself. I had to do something to keep my mind off food as I knew at that point I was going to gain weight the next day.

I wandered down into our basement to finish up a little organizing that I had done and that is when I decided to pull out all of my winter clothes for the season. I really don't have alot of casual clothes but I do have a lot of work clothes that I probably needed to sort through and donate. I ran back up to our room and started taking all of the summer clothes out and that is when the fun began. I kept pulling things out, trying them on and then giggling because it was way to big! It was nuts! I pulled out shirt after shirt, shorts after shorts, pants after pants and nothing fit me! I seriously have no clothes except for a few shirts that I could probably get away with wearing but I am left with 3 pairs of pants. THREE pairs of pants was all that was left in my closet. Shocking and cool all at the same time.

That little task kept me from wanting to eat anything else that night and I just stopped. Of course I woke up to another gain and at that point I weighed in at 217.0. Wayyyyyyy to close to having to do a steak day so on Sunday I decided to do a high protein day to get my weight back down just a little bit. I didn't want to go into the weekend being only .6 pounds away from a steak day and I thought the protein day would help me lost a little bit of what I had gained from my little cheese binge on Saturday. Here is what my high protein day looked like...
Breakfast: 2 whole eggs
Lunch: 6-8oz turkey burger
Snack: Chocolate Protein shake
Dinner: 6-8oz of ground turkey with taco seasoning over a mixed green salad.
Snack: 4 egg whites

What did I wake up to on Monday??? A 2.2 pound loss! Holy shit I lost 2.2 pounds eating a ton of food that day! I was shocked to say the least. So yesterday I did another higher protein day but did add in some cheese and I lost another .8 pounds. Crap I am back to losing which is fine since I am not down to 213.4 but I am very close at 214.0. So I will add a little bit more fat to my diet today but I definitely don't want to get used to this high fat stuff. In 2 weeks I get to add carbs back in and I am excited and anxious all at the same time. I hope it goes as smoothly as this Phase 3 has and that I am able to maintain my weight through the holidays.

If this diet has taught me anything it is that I can still enjoy food in moderation and if I go overboard I just have to get right back on track that next day and the weight will come right back off. All in all it was a bad weekend yet seeing my 3 lonely pairs of pants hanging in my closet make losing weight all worth it.

I can't believe I am actually maintaining!

2010-11-12T09:57:00.000-06:00

There is nothing more shocking to me right now than the fact that I actually did the HCG diet and it has been working thus far! I am in utter shock that I have maintained my weight and now had to worry about going over the 2 pounds allowed. I was able to bring my weight back up the day that I went under the 2 pounds but wow was that alot of eating.

I think I have found my sweet spot for the number of calories on average that I need to maintain and that is somewhere between 1700 to 1800 calories. I will admit that I am beyond lazy right now and really the only activity that I am getting is the housework that I do each day. Other than that I sit at my computer and get about 3-5 hours of work done as well as read some blogs or visit my favorite forums.

According to my bodybugg, when I am just sitting here doing absolutely nothing I am burning about 1950 calories, but if there are days were I am active it goes up to around 2300. I think if I had a normal 8 to 5 job I would be able to eat more than what I am now but I really don't need that and I am enjoying being at home. *insert super embarrassed face here* Yup I get to sit on my ass, make a few bucks and I live an a super stress-free life. Okay I have a few stresses but ya know it isn't anything like it was when I worked outside of the home and worked everyday.

I am definitely keeping track of my calories everyday until I get comfortable with what food looks like without counting calories. The calorie counting is completely new to me and funny enough I am more familiar with WW points than I am calories. It has been an adjustment but it has also been fun doing it. I would highly recommend to anyone that if you are bored with your current diet try something new. Step out of your comfort zone a little and see what happens. I never once thought I would do something so drastic but now that I am in the maintenance phase of it I have realized what this diet has done for me. I can finally realize what carbs were doing to my body and that I was in complete denial that I needed to cut them out of my life. I will definitely add in some whole grains because carbs are healthy but do I really need to eat a half loaf of white bread? Um no. LOL! For me it was the change that I needed to keep me going on this journey and I for once I can see the end in sight.

eating like crazy and still losing weight

2010-11-10T18:11:00.000-06:00

<--------this is how I feel! LOL! I am down to 212.6 today which is not good. That means my body needs more calories than I am currently consuming which absolutely boggles my mind. Yesterday I ate 1710 calories and I seriously thought I was going to explode. I was eating constantly yet I woke up to a 1.6 pound loss. UGH! I am all for losing weight but this is not supposed to be happening. Now that I am over the allowed -2 pounds from my last injection weight (LIW) I have to eat more! No idea how I am going to get in more healthy calories because I can't eat carbs. If something is low in calories that means it is usually low in fat. The only way I have been able to eat that many calories by eating alot of guacamole, olive oil for cooking, cheese (okay lots of cheese), and then of course meat. I am so lost as to how I am going to get in more calories yet not feel so stuffed all of the time. I guess I am going to have to start eating chicken throughout the day or I could eat some salmon! I haven't had salmon yet and it is important to me to eat healthy fats not things like butter. I have had about a tablespoon of butter if you combine it all together and that just feels so wrong to me. LOL! I am going to stick to the healthy fats like avocados, olive oil, fats from salmon, etc. I do have some coconut oil that I haven't tried yet so maybe I will do that as well!

I never thought I would be in a position to where I could eat and eat and eat yet still lose weight. Unbelievably cool.

feeling guilty and very bloated

2010-11-08T11:38:00.000-06:00

***I started writing this post yesterday and ended up getting distracted by mowing/picking up all the leaves in our yard. LOL!!***

I will join 2 posts into one, this was from yesterday's thoughts...
Yesterday was the first day I was able to add foods back in as well as some healthy oils. Okay well I used a little butter but eh, we can ignore that part. For breakfast I wasn't hungry at all but I also knew that I needed to eat something to keep my metabolism up so I had a piece of cheese. OMG did I miss cheese, it was so salty on my tongue that I almost couldn't get enough of it. Then for lunch the plan was to go and get a rotisserie chicken so that I could pick on that for lunch/snacks but I went to the store and in the ingredients it listed sugar and starch and there was no way I was going to take a chance on that. I went home empty handed and decided to just have a snack of some more cheese! LOL!

We then went to dinner at our favorite Mexican restaurant and I ordered the chicken fajitas as planned. Can I just say that I think I experienced heaven that night. I mean seriously, it was some of the best tasting stuff that I have had in a really long time. I did notice that they were a little salty but I hadn't been using much salt so I wasn't really sure. Either way the sour cream, lettuce, guac, and sauteed chicken, green peppers and onion were exactly what I needed to lift me up and get me excited again.

After dinner we headed to whole foods were I proceeded to try every cheese sample they had available. Bought some almond butter as well as a few other goodies that I can't wait to try later one! When we got home I think I had about 4tbsp of the almond butter, as well as 2 rounds of those little Laughing Cow cheese things. I absolutely overdid it and let me tell you this morning I felt so sick. I felt bloated, my stomach hurt, I felt like I was retaining a million gallons of water. I was miserable. I shouldn't have eaten that much and the scale certainly showed that this morning since I weighed in at 215.2 which was a 1.6 pound gain. No big deal though since I am still under my LIW of 215.4 and I did eat alot of food.

Now for Monday's post...
Yesterday I was so mad about the weight gain that I felt I didn't know what to do or how to eat. I panicked thinking that I did something wrong and I regretted eating all that crap especially when they told us to go slow when they add food back in. I knew I wasn't going to eat all of my calories yesterday because I had overdone it the day before but I also wanted to keep track so that I could see what I was eating.

My menu for yesterday looked like this...
Breakfast - 4 eggwhites with 1 slice of Havarti cheese
Lunch - 6oz 93/7 turkey burger (no bun), mixed green salad, 2 roma tomatoes, and 2tbsp of guacamole
Dinner - 4 aged provolone chicken sausages from Whole Foods.

That equated to 1202 calories, 73g of fat, 28g of carbs, and 128g of protein. This morning I weighed in and I have lost a pound since yesterday. LOL! I could have sworn I was going to gain weight again and I was starting to get frustrated because they said that there is a possibility you could eat to much or to little and I just couldn't figure out what to do.

Someone commented yesterday and asked how I planned on maintaining my weight and if I could use a tool like Weight Watchers. Funny she mentioned that because that was my plan but I wasn't really sure how I would do it because usually everything that contains fiber is also a carb and carbs aren't allowed. So just for fun yesterday I counted up my points and I ended up eating 29 points which is more than I should have but still pretty good. The only problem, I was short about 500 calories from what I should be eating. Right now if I do a Basal Metabolic Rate (BMR) calculator it says that I should be eating around 1750 calories in order to maintain my weight. So I don't know how I would keep track with WW although I was hoping that I could. It just doesn't come out the right way since I am not eating tons of fiber.

So today I am going to eat the same kinds of food as I did yesterday and see how that works. The reason they don't want you adding new foods is because you could have a sensitivity to a certain food and the main culprits are eggs, cheese, nuts and dairy. So I am going to eat my egg whites and cheese today and tomorrow and see how that goes. If I maintain my weight then I will add in another new food such as milk and see how that goes. If I add to many new foods at once I won't know which ones to cut out. I am dying for some almond butter so I may eat add that instead of the milk. LOL!!

Entering phase 3 has been alot more stressful than I managed but I am so happy that I have been able to maintain my weight thus far!

stopped shots early - time to maintain

2010-11-05T19:22:00.000-05:00

So I got a little impatient and decided to stop my shots on Wednesday. I decided it was more important to keep my mind fresh and not frustrated than to lose a few more pounds so instead of stopping tomorrow I stopped Wednesday and now I can go out to eat with my husband tomorrow night!!! I am planning to have chicken or beef fajitas with a side of guacamole, sour cream and cheese! I of course can't have any bad carbs so I will have to leave the oh so yummy flour tortillas in their cute little warmer but I am okay with that. It has been a little more than 5 weeks since I have had a bad carb like pasta, bread, sugar, etc. so I can only imagine what that would do to me after all this time.

What I am even more excited about is the fact that I have been off the shots for 57 hours and I still haven't cheated nor do I feel like cheating or stuffing my face! I am more than excited to have a nice big salad with lots of veggies and a protein for lunch or even my favorite egg whites tomorrow for breakfast. HOWEVER I am terrified of gaining weight which means I will stop eating when I am full and only eat when I am hungry.

Round 1/Phase 2 went really really well for me. I lost 25.8 pounds in 35 days which averages out to .74 pounds per day! Woot Woot!! Since I am going to have to maintain my weight at 215.4 I have decided to start a new post on my HCG Daily Weigh-In page so you can check in on me there. So the plan is if I go over 215.4 by anymore than 2 pounds when I weigh in the morning then I have to do a "steak day" that day. A "steak day" is where I don't eat anything for all day but at dinner I have a medium-large steak (10-12oz.) as well as an apple and for some reason that does the trick and you lose all those 2 pounds. I am actually 1.8 pounds under what I should be and if I wasn't still on the low calorie part of this I would need to eat more to get my weight back up. The goal is to keep my metabolism nice and high and that won't happen if I am not eating enough.

This will definitely be an interesting process and I hope I don't lose some of my readers because I am just maintaining and not losing! I am still going to need lots of support on days I feel down or days where I want to celebrate with you all. Before we know it January 1 will be here and I will get to do the shots again and start my next journey to my goal weight!! Thank you to everyone that has supported me thus far, you have no idea how much it has helped so far.

a tiny change of plans

2010-11-02T11:30:00.000-05:00

I am sure alot of you have no idea what I am talking about with this HCG diet so bear with me. LOL!! I have decided to change my plans up a little bit and hopefully this will all work out in the end. A little background first...

When I first signed up for the HCG diet I went to a somewhat local doctor and he gave me instructions on how to do this diet. The more I read about the original diet and the more I "talked" to this doctor the more I realized he was a quack and had no idea what he was doing. In his plan we are allowed to continue the shots for as long as we like or until we get to our goal weight. That is not how the original Dr. Simeon plan works and I am going to stick with Dr. S's plan which looks like this...

"Rounds" consists of 4 different phases that I will abbreviate is P1, P2, P3, P4. I will have to do more than one round because I have more weight to lose than the average person. Some people have to do more than one round and others are lucky enough to get to their goal weight in a single round. Either way the phases are the same for everyone for each round they do.

Phase 1 consists of 2 days where you literally eat as much food as you possibly can and you try to gain weight (we call this loading). Yup love this part of the diet! LOL!! You also start the shots on the first day of loading so that it is in your system by the time you start the 500 calorie diet or what we call the very low calorie diet or VLCD. For some reason this helps you to lose alot more weight than if you were to just eat normal on those 2 days. It also helps get you through the first week that your body is coming off of basically a major food withdrawl. I was hungry, even starving at times, but that wasn't the diet's fault that was my doctor's fault because my dose was wrong. Anyway, that is what we call P1 and it only lasts 2 days.

Phase 2 is the other 41 days of the total 43 days and is the VLCD. This is where I eat my 7oz of meat per day and usually all the veggies I want because I don't count calories, oh and I can't forget the 2 fruits! I do measure my meat to make sure that is spot on but other than that there is no counting. During this time you are going to lose a bunch of weight. So far I have managed to lose 25.8 pounds since starting the VLCD 34 days ago which is fantastic results!! I would love to keep going and this is where the small change in plans is going to come in. Like I mentioned before my doctor said that I could keep going no matter how much weight I had lost or how many shots I had done. With Dr. S's plan there is a reason you should stop, he says that your body can become immune to the HCG and it just doesn't respond anymore which means you will start to get hungry again and you will be burning muscle not fat. This is something that you DO NOT want to have happen and the reason why you can't do a 500 calorie diet for this long without the HCG. Your body would shut down immediately. Well I am going to be running out of the HCG shots that my doctor gave me and I really don't want to open another vial of a different brand and have to figure out what dose I should be on so I am going to end P2 when I am supposed to which is this Saturday. Yay no more shots for 6-7 weeks! What does this mean? Read on...

Phase 3 is the phase where you start adding fats and calories back into your diet. You are still not allowed to have the "bad" carbs but you can also eat a larger variety of fruits and veggies and you are going to eat about 1800 calories or enough to maintain your weight. P3 is the stabilizing phase where I can't let my weight go 2lbs. above or below my lowest weight when I stop the shots. This is the most important part of the diet and where your metabolism really resets itself. The best part about stopping the shots early is that I get to eat turkey and veggies during Thanksgiving!!! I can also eat a low carb cream cheese pumpkin bake that I hear is to die for!! I just don't know if it would be realistic to think I could do this diet for such a long period of time and I want to make sure I keep this weight off.

Phase 3 lasts for 3 weeks and then I move into Phase 4! During P4, which also lasts for 3 weeks if you are doing another round to lose more weight or P4 could be what you do for the rest of your life, you can start to reintroduce carbs and basically any other food that you want. By this time your metabolism will have reset because of the stabilizing that occurred in P3. This means I will get to have yummy goodies at Christmas, of course in moderation, but that also means that I can start another Round right at the beginning of the new year.

I was really hoping I would get to 199 by the end of the year, and I am sure I could if I continued with the HCG but I just don't know if that would be the smartest thing to do at this time. I am so proud of what I have accomplished so far but I really want to do this the right way. My other idea is that there are some people that have gone past the 43 days which is what my plan is for Round 2. During R2 I will go until I either hit immunity (I will start to get hungry and/or weak) or until I get to my goal weight of 150. My husband and I even talked about putting off IVF for another month or two if needed because this weight loss is more important than having a set timeline for IVF. So that is my plan and I am sticking to it. I will be sad that I don't get to lose anymore weight for the rest of the year but I am okay with that. My body needs to rest.

Sorry that was such a long post but since there are so many people out there that don't know about HCG I wanted to make sure I explained everything. Maybe I will even help someone decide if they want to do this plan or not. It doesn't matter to me how the weight comes off as long as it is done in a healthy way as well as way that I can keep it off. So far the HCG diet is proving to work out really well for me.

michaela weighs in 11.01.10

2010-11-01T09:44:00.000-05:00

Wow the time is flying by since I started this HCG diet and now it is already November!!! Of course November means start of the holidays and I am more than excited about that this year. My absolutely favorite holiday time of the year is the time between Thanksgiving and New Year because for some reason people always seem to come together as friends, families, lovers, ect. I always feel the love in the air and that is why it is my favorite time of the year. :):) Anyway, on to the good stuff...

This morning I weighed in at 216.2!!!!!! That means I lost 3.6lbs for the week, 25 pounds since I started Round 1 of the HCG, 60 pounds since I started this blog, and 80.4 pounds from my highest recorded weight!! Holy shit can you believe it? I am actually doing it, I am losing weight and loving life!!!!

The 80.4 pounds brings up something else I wanted to talk about. For the longest time I have always ignored the fact that I once weighed 296.6. The number was always there in the back of my mind but even when I started this blog I never counted the 20.4 pounds I had lost before that time frame. Maybe it was because I didn't want to admit that I was that close to 300, or maybe it was because 276.2 sounds like a better number? I have no idea but for the first time in 5 years I am going to acknowledge that I actually weighed 296.6 and it is time to scream from the roof tops and say that I have lost just over 80 pounds!! I am no longer going to ignore that weight because I should be very proud of what I have done over the years. I am proud to say that in 5 years I have never seen that number again and never plan to see the 200's ever again in my life.

So today I am going to work on changing up my mini goals to show that I have gone from a BMI of 47.9 to 34.9 and that I have lost 27.11% of my body weight! Hopefully those little mini goals will keep me looking forward to the next phase of this journey and in the mean time keep me as happy as I am right now!

pic of me at my heaviest

2010-10-27T15:34:00.000-05:00

So now that I have lost close to 80 pounds from my heaviest weight here are a few pics of what I looked like before at around 295lbs. in 2005/2006! I can't believe how huge I am in this picture!!!! This is so totally embarrassing to me yet exactly what I needed to keep going on this weight loss journey. I feel so much better than I did at this time in my life and if there is one reason for me to lose weight it is to gain back the self confidence and happiness that I know is inside me. Right now I am about 2/3 of the way there but I still have a little ways to go. My confidence is slowly coming back and I am the happiest I have been in as long as I can remember. I feel amazing actually!!

Here is another picture that I found from Christmas 2005 and for fun I put it next to a picture I took with my Photo Booth camera. Can you believe how much skinnier I look? WOW!!!

I wonder what other pictures I can find?!? I need more skinny body shots but I haven't been in a situation where I have a picture of just me without doing my regular progress picture. Maybe I will go try on some of the clothes I have from being so much bigger. Oh and I have a pair of pants that are still a little too small, I could take weekly pictures in those! This could be fun!

progress pictures!!

2010-10-26T13:22:00.000-05:00

Okay I don't have time to update the progress pic section of my blog with the front, side and back shots but I thought I would leave you with a sneak peak!! Hopefully I will have them done tonight and you can see it all. It is so hard trying to remember where my husband stood when he took the pictures or where I had my feet positioned so in the photos of the back view my legs don't look any smaller but they really are! I promise!!

Here is the side shot which is obviously the most dramatic and the easiest way to see my progress...(click on the picture to make it bigger)...

and then I thought I would show you what it looks like from the beginning when I weighed 270 to now at 219!!!

michaela weighs in 10.25.10

2010-10-25T09:56:00.000-05:00

I am just going to cut to the chase, this morning I weighed 219.8!!! I made it into the TEENS!!!! I can't believe I weigh TWO NINETEEN!!! Nineteen, nineteen, nineteen, nineteen! I freaking love the sound of two NINETEEN!!!!!!!!!

Guess what that means?! Progress pics will be updated tomorrow as long as my husband has the day off to take them. LOL!! I can't wait to see the difference in how much weight I have lost and it feels like forever since I last did a progress pic comparison. Wow this is a great day, no not a great day, one helluva day for sure!

Just a few stats...I have lost 21.4 pounds in the last 26 days with the HCG diet, I have lost 56.4 pounds since I started this blog, and 76.8 pounds from my heaviest in 2005! I am at my smallest weight since my freshman year of college, and I have exactly 20lbs to lose before I am in Onderland!!! Can you believe it? Twenty pounds, that's it. I can sooooooo do this.